Forget Me Not
by MidnightRosebud
Summary: Samurai sentai Shinkenger. AU When a head injury causes Mako to lose all her memories of the past five years, she loses more than just time - she can't remember her job, her friends, the love of her life, the marriage they shared or the life they built together. How do you "fix" memories? Can you actually piece together the fragments of shattered hearts? Mako/Takeru, Kotoha/Chiaki
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **Welcome to the New Year and with it my first new story for 2013. :) I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I will writing it. I will be attempting a new sort of problem to face/tackle that I have not written about before, and trying to stay medically accurate while deviating as much as need be to tell the story. We'll see how this goes! XD Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. Enjoy!

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Prologue_

It hadn't happened like she though it would.

There was no screech of tires. No smell of burnt rubber. In fact, her brakes hadn't worked at all, or maybe they had been the problem to begin with.

When Mako had set out for work early that freezing winter morning, her mind had been on everything else but the weather. Her drive was one she had taken time and time again; she knew the roads like she knew the back of her hand. But it was hard to spot something you couldn't see.

She had been driving along in the pre-dawn darkness, alone on the road except for the bright moon in the sky. Her car had felt like the inside of a freezer but she had made sure to bundle up tightly and let the car warm before she headed out.

It had been so still outside. So silent.

The only sounds she could hear were her engine running, the heat blasting, and the faint sound of music as she tapped her gloved fingers to its rhythm on the steering wheel.

Then it happened.

Black ice.

With no warning her car suddenly started to slide across the road. Startled out of her daydreams Mako attempted to steer her wheel in the opposite direction of the slide, trying and failing to cease her acceleration as she met the small hill she was suddenly sliding down. Her car twisted and turned until suddenly she was slipping backwards down the hill, panic beginning to bubble in her chest. With another turn of the wheel her car spun around again, accelerating faster as she went and with no longer any semblance of control. Her iron grip on the steering wheel was all that kept her centered as the world around her spun wildly out of focus.

A sudden large force slammed into her car and Mako felt herself thrown sideways from her seat and right into her driver's side window. The car was now full of the sounds of protesting metal and cracking glass but Mako could barely hear it as her head swam from the impact. With an almighty jolt her car ceased its movement.

Faint sound trickled through her ears, the whine and hiss of her car and the still tinkling sound of music that had played on uninterrupted as if nothing had happened.

A part of Mako's brain recognized that she had just been in an accident, that she needed help, but the larger part of her head was drowning in an embracing darkness as something warm and wet slid down the side of her face from somewhere under her hair line.

Her body wouldn't respond to even the simplest of commands, her vision blurred between reality and dreams. With one last sudden burst of clarity an image popped into her head, one that made her heart jolt in delight and then anxiety as her lips formed one last whispered word.

"_Takeru…_"

Then there was only darkness as the music from the radio played faintly on, the car's occupant unable to hear a single note.


	2. Awakening

**Author's Note: **I had more difficulty with this chapter than I originally anticipated. I can feel that this story is going to be a real challenge for me already. Please let me know what you think - I want to keep everyone in character and the story line flowing. Constructive Criticism is always welcomed :) Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Shinkenger or any of her characters. I simply borrow them for my (and other's) amusement. _

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter One: __Awakening _

The first thing Mako registered was sound. A cacophony of unrelated noises that blended and stood out amongst each other. As she began to more fully awaken the sounds became more distinct.

She could hear a rhythmic beeping noise close at hand, the rustle of movements and voices. Several voices actually, some low, some high, but all attempting – and failing – to speak in hushed, strained tones. It took her another moment to realize that the voices too were close at hand, somewhere close by, and all of them were stressed. It took her a few more moments to realize they were talking about her.

Mako blurrily opened her eyes, the harsh white light making her squint and wish she could just close them to the darkness again. Her body ached, her head throbbed and there was an uncomfortable something attached to her nose. When she moved her hand to her face to try and tug at whatever was there, she paused, noting that there was also something stuck in her hand. It took her a moment to focus on it, and then she realized what it was – an IV. Her eyes trailed over it to its tube attachment and finally to the bag of liquid that was slowly but steadily dripping something into her body. She touched the thing on her face with gentle fingertips and recognized it as the instrument that helped you to breathe when you were in the hospital – she had watched enough hospital dramas to recognize it for what it was, even if she couldn't for the life of her remember what it was called now.

Her slow movements finally caught the eye of one of the room's occupants and there was a sudden squeal that filled the air.

"_Mako!_ You're awake!"

Mako's eyes had a brief glimpse of a young woman about her age with shoulder-length curling dark hair and bright eyes before she was engulfed in a pair of arms. Mako's automatic response was to raise an arm and hug the girl back though she was confused by the mannerisms of this girl and herself. What random person went around hugging strangers? What was _she_ doing hugging them back? Mako shrugged it off for the moment.

As the young woman now sat back on the bed at Mako's side and grinned broadly at her Mako let her eyes flicker to the rest of the people in the room – the ones all the voices had belonged to, she realized.

There were three men standing behind the young woman. One with short dark hair and an impish grin. The other, who was just as tall as the first, had lighter brown hair, serious eyes but a confident smile. The last was shorter than the other two, not much taller than Mako herself had she been standing and he stood within a protective proximity to the young woman sitting on her bed. Obviously the two were involved in some way. Mako caught sight of a simple band on his ring finger and found a matching one on the woman's.

_Married or engaged?_ She asked herself, curious.

"How are you feeling?" The young woman asked, concern crinkling her eyes.

Mako's eyes lit upon all the faces again briefly. _Are they doctors? Interns? Volunteer workers?_

She felt the woman sitting in front of her looked vaguely familiar, as if she had caught sight of her a time or two before for a brief moment of time, but no name leapt out at her as she looked at the young woman's face.

"What happened?" Mako asked instead, her voice low and unfamiliar sounding to her, like it hadn't been used in a while.

The young woman bit her lip, anxiety tracing her features. "You were in an accident Mako," she answered softly. "Your car spun out on black ice and you hit a tree – pretty hard." Concerned eyes jumped to a spot on Mako's head, right where Mako swore the pulsing sensation was originating from. "You've been unconscious for three days." She paused. "Do you remember any of it?"

Mako looked inwardly at her memories but came up with nothing. "I remember going to school the day before," she answered slowly. "But I can't remember anything after that."

The young woman nodded and placed a comforting hand on the one without an IV needle stuck in it. "The doctors said that might happen. It's perfectly normal."

Mako nodded slowly in response. _So it was an accident. That explains why I feel like I got hit by a bus, or tree as it were. And if I hit my head hard enough to be out for three days, I must be lucky if not remembering the accident is all that I have to worry about. _A sudden thought struck her. "I hope they don't mind late papers," she said lightly. "I had quite a few assignments due this week."

Everyone in the room cracked a smile and the young woman giggled. "I think they'll forgive you, and I'm sure they'll understand why. Don't worry about it." She rubbed Mako's arm in comfort, soothing her nerves.

Mako took in the people before her again. It was a little awkward to have them all standing there, watching her. Not that she didn't appreciate the company or their efforts but they were still strangers after all. She really needed to speak with a doctor or someone and find out what was going on – what was the next step? How soon could she leave? Those papers weren't going to write themselves and while her professors would undoubtedly understand given her current circumstances, she wondered if they'd even been contacted to explain her absences.

"Where's –" Mako began.

"Oh!" The young woman started. "Of course, I'm so sorry Mako. Takeru was _just_ here. We finally convinced him to leave the room for a little bit and get some fresh air."

"You _would_ wake-up as soon as he left," the young man with the mischievous eyes grinned good-naturedly at her.

"He was so _worried_ Mako," the young woman explained. "We all were."

"Takeru looked like he was going to lose his mind," the young woman's fiancé/husband snorted. "Worried is an understatement."

"Chiaki," the young woman scolded. "Mako doesn't need to hear that right now."

The young man, _Chiaki_, her mind grasped the new name, muttered unintelligibly to himself.

_Is Takeru the doctor?_ She wondered. He must have an extraordinary capacity for compassion to worry about a woman he had never met before like that. She looked around the room again. What kind of luck did she have to end up in a hospital where even the volunteers worried and fretted over a single woman who had been in a coma.

A door slid open quietly and another young man entered, lines of anxiety traced deeply into his very posture.

"Take-chan!" The one with the quick grin called out excitedly. "Mako's awake!"

_Takeru?_ He's _Takeru? He can't be the doctor, he's too young!_ She studied the young man whose head snapped up and looked at her instantaneously. Mako felt her eyes widen. _Not that I'd mind. I can't imagine any girl being able to stay sick around him long. His face alone could make any girl swoon. One kiss from those lips and she'd wake up in a hurry. _She felt a flush creep up her cheeks as unbidden images of what those lips would feel like on hers flashed through her mind in vivid array. Some of which were a little more _heated_ than her normal imagination was wont to bring up. Mako's blush deepened. _Whoa, wind in that imagination of yours Mako before it gets you into trouble._

The young man was at her side at once, hugging her tightly. Mako's arms once again rose of their own accord and hugged him back. In embarrassment, Mako heard the beeping noise in the room increase its pace to match her new heart rhythm.

_Jeeze Mako, get a grip_. She scolded herself. She heard someone in the room mutter a comment that was quickly stifled with a soft _thump_ and a small groan.

"I was so worried," the young man, _Takeru_, her mind supplied helpfully, almost gleefully, whispered in her ear. He released her just enough to draw back and look into her eyes.

Mako could read every emotion there as if someone had painted it across his irises – worry, concern, anxiety, relief, joy, sadness – a whirlwind of sentiment wrapped into one being. It made her a little dizzy from the intensity of all that emotion being directed at her. She was so distracted by it that she didn't realize the _very_ good-looking young man was already leaning toward her for a kiss. At the very last second Mako was able to turn her head so that his lips got her cheek instead. Her face flushed every color of the sunrise and to her mortification, the heart monitor went wild.

The room broke out into a chorus of laughter.

"Careful Takeru, you don't want to send her _back_ into a coma."

"Yeah Take-chan, let your pretty little wife get some breathing space."

"I dunno guys, has he _ever_ been able to keep his distance from her? Or keep his hands to himself?"

More snorts and good-humored laughter filled the room as the young woman groaned in exasperation.

"You guys! Stop teasing them!"

Takeru's face flushed red and he looked at Mako apologetically though his lips were still quirked in a small smile.

Mako's eyes were wide in response, her heart pounding in her ears, causing the throbbing in her head to worsen. _Wife? What wife? Whose wife? Me?! To him? What kind of twisted joke is that?!_ Her eyes automatically darted to first his hand, then hers.

With an almighty lurch of her stomach, Mako realized that this Takeru-person had a wedding band around his ring finger. She blanched at the sight of one sparkling back at her from her own – its cut catching the light and throwing little rainbows into her eyes as if mocking her in its happiness and the distinct lack of hers.

Mako felt like she was going to throw-up.

"Mako?" Takeru asked his voice riddled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Mako? You're going pale." The young woman's face looked at her in worry. "Are you in pain? Do you need us to get the doctor?"

Mako felt like her head was going to explode as panic and confusion began to well up inside her chest. Before she knew it, or could stop it, tears had welled up and were spilling over.

The young woman and Takeru exchanged worried glances. The young woman placed a hand gently on Takeru's shoulder and peered closer at Mako. "What's wrong?" She asked gently.

"I don't understand," Mako's voice was thick.

"Understand what?"

"I can't be married!" Mako's words were coming faster. "I don't _have_ a husband. I don't even have a _boyfriend!_"

Now it was the rest of the room's turn to be confused.

"Mako – what?" Takeru was at a complete loss.

The young woman's eyes widened slightly. "Mako," she began hesitantly. "What's the last thing you remember? What happened that day?"

Mako looked at the woman, confused, but answered automatically upon seeing the intent look in her eyes. "I went to school."

The young woman shook her head, her dark curls bouncing softly against her face. "Which kids?"

Now Mako was even more bewildered. "Kids? What do you mean by kids? Do you mean Freshmen? I think there are a few in my Intro classes. There are quite a few of them in my Self-Defense class."

The young woman's face paled considerably. "Mako, look at me," she took Mako's hands in her own. "How many Self-Defense classes have you gone to?"

Mako racked her brain. "Three, I think. If I hadn't been in the accident, that night would probably have been my fourth…Oh!" She felt something slip into place, like a picture on a slideshow reel. "You're that girl from my Self-Defense class! I remember seeing you there."

The young woman nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yes! That's where we met. Mako, what's my name?"

Mako opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. "I don't know," she admitted sheepishly. "I'm sorry; I wasn't paying attention during the attendance call."

The young woman's hands tightened around Mako's. She turned slightly to indicate the three men standing behind her who were now staring at the scene unfolding before them, unable to fully comprehend it. "What about them? Do you recognize them?"

Mako let her eyes flick to each young man individually, studying them briefly but nothing triggered. "I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling guilty and not knowing why, confusing her further.

"What about me?" Takeru asked, his voice heavy, lined with a fine edge. "Do you recognize me?"

Mako's tears were falling thick and fast now. "I'm sorry," she shook her head.

A stunned silence filled the room, the atmosphere tense and heavy. Takeru moved swiftly off the bed, his long strides had him out the door in seconds, his face drawn as if a curtain had been pulled across it.

"Take-chan," the young man with short, dark hair called out anxiously before following him out the door.

"I'm sorry," Mako apologized again, working to hold back the sobs she could feel building in her chest. Now knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that something was _wrong_, she just didn't – or couldn't – remember _what._

"I'll go find the doctor," the man with the serious face informed them before making his exit.

"I'll be outside," Chiaki said in a low tone to his partner, shutting the door softly behind him.

Mako, who had felt something inside her break at the expression on Takeru's face and then shatter to pieces as everyone left covered her face with her hands as the tears fell in steady streams. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Oh Mako," the young woman, her own eyes bright with tears pulled her into a tight hug.

Slowly Mako responded, clinging to this almost-stranger tightly, knowing somehow that if this woman left too, she'd never be able to carry herself out of the darkness her thoughts were drowning her in. When the young woman began to stroke her hair softly, Mako gave in to her sobs.

"It's okay," the young woman soothed, doing her best to keep her own tears out of her words. "You're going to be okay. I promise."

"I don't _understand_," Mako sobbed. "I feel like I should remember something important, but I _can't_. There's nothing _there._"


	3. Changes

**Author's Note: **Not sure how I feel about parts of this chapter, then again I'm not entirely sure I'm very awake either. XD Let me know what you think! Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. Enjoy! :)

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Two: Changes_

"Retrograde amnesia?" Mako repeated, trying to follow along.

"Yes," her doctor answered. "Your head impacted with the driver side window, resulting in your current state of amnesia – or loss of memories."

"Is it permanent?" The young woman with dark hair – _Kotoha_ – Mako's mind supplied now that they had been "re-introduced" asked.

"It's hard to say," the doctor replied slowly. "It differs for every patient. Some remember everything, some only get back partial memories, and some simply have to start over. It all depends on how much damage there was to that part of the brain."

"Then why only the last five years?" Mako asked. "How can I remember before that?"

"Again," the doctor responded patiently. "It's different for every patient. In accidents such as these people can lose memories of just the accident itself, a few days, weeks, months, or even years. You're very fortunate," he tried to emphasize. "I know five years seems like a very long time, but I have had patients who lost their entire life's worth of memories. And with your young age, the chances are in your favor for at least a partial recovery, if not all."

Mako gave him a look that clearly read how lucky she felt at that moment.

Her doctor's smile was almost fatherly. "I know it's difficult for you, and that you feel as if you've lost everything but –"

"I've lost all memories of my job, my friends, and even, apparently, my husband." Mako's eyes glanced to her ring quickly before leveling the doctor almost with a glare. "I don't remember meeting them, I don't remember meeting _him_. I'm also supposed to be responsible for an entire room full of children and I can't even remember where the school _is_, let alone the students. I don't even know where I live right now!"

"Mako," Kotoha whispered consolingly. "You live with Takeru. You two are married, remember?"

Mako felt the tears well again. "_No!_" She cried out. "I _don't_ remember." Kotoha's arms were around her again in an instant, soothing her overly-frayed nerves and whirling vortex of emotions.

The doctor sighed in sympathy. "I'll give you another moment alone." He gathered his paperwork and stood up. "A specialist will be in soon to help you with your…situation." He nodded briefly in parting to Kotoha who thanked him before he made his exit.

"I'm sorry," Mako whispered.

"For what?" Kotoha asked, genuinely confused. "You have _nothing_ you need to apologize for."

"I didn't even know we were friends until you told me," Mako replied morosely. "What kind of person does that make me if I can't even remember a five-year friendship?"

Kotoha frowned, unsure what to say, choosing instead to simply hug her friend tighter. "Everything will work out Mako. I _know_ it will."

* * *

There was a firm but quiet knock on the door before a woman with a clipboard walked in.

"Good afternoon Ms. Shiba, how are you feeling today?" The woman asked. When she received no response she studied the two women in the room. "Ms. Shiba?" She inquired politely.

"Mako," Kotoha started gently. "She's talking to you."

"But she asked for a 'Ms. Shiba.' Are you sure she doesn't have the wrong room?" Mako's brow was furrowed in confusion.

Kotoha shook her head. "Shiba is Takeru's last name."

"Oh." Mako's voice was quiet.

The woman doctor smiled sympathetically. "I've heard about your situation," she began again. "What would you be more comfortable with me addressing you as?"

"My maiden name is Shiraishi," Mako mumbled, a flush flitted across her face in embarrassment. _Great, now I can't even remember my own name. Just perfect._

"Ms. Shiraishi, I'm the specialist your doctor spoke to you about earlier. My name is Matsuda." She looked around the room. "Where is your husband?"

Mako looked away, uncomfortable. "I don't know." The sharp memory of his abrupt departure still stabbed at her deeply. He hadn't been back since.

"Takeru is with my fiancé and his friends, out in the waiting lobby." Kotoha answered. "Would you like me to get him for you?"

"Please," Dr. Matsuda requested with a smile.

"Will you be okay Mako?" Kotoha asked softly, rubbing her friend's shoulder.

Mako nodded. "Thank you." With a responding nod Kotoha stood up and left the room.

"How are you feeling Ms. Shiraishi?"

Mako shifted in her hospital bed, staring at the opposite corner. "Frustrated," she answered honestly.

Dr. Matsuda nodded. "That's normal. How do you feel physically? Any pain?"

Mako shrugged. "The place where I hit my head is sore and my body aches a bit, but I was told that's normal too."

The doctor nodded at Mako's answer, scribbling it all down on her clipboard. "Your doctor told me that you have retrograde amnesia?"

Mako nodded.

"How far back can you remember?"

"I can remember all of my childhood, elementary school, junior high, high school, even some college. But the last five years is just – gone. There's a big blank spot. It's like there's nothing there." Mako frowned. "I've tried to remember what they've told me, but I can't."

The doctor nodded, only looking up from her clipboard when the door opened behind her. "Ah! Mr. Shiba?"

Mako felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment when she caught sight of the young man she had only seen once before he re-entered her room.

Takeru nodded to the doctor once before his gaze sought out Mako's.

Mako felt the heat rise in her cheeks from the intensity of his stare, and her chest constricted at the loss she read in his eyes. It broke her heart, especially knowing she was the cause of it – even if completely unintentional. Her eyes dropped to her hands as they gripped together tightly in sorrow and regret.

Dr. Matsuda noticed the exchange quietly, feeling the tension thicken in the air. "Please," she offered to break the silence. "Take a seat Mr. Shiba."

Takeru sat where the doctor had indicated; the chair placed right next to Mako's bedside. The one he had occupied almost constantly for the past three days after the call that had just about made his entire world stop spinning. He looked at Mako automatically, gauging her reaction, but she was determinedly staring at her hands. His sight too was drawn to her fingers and was surprised to see that they were turning white from her tight grip. Without thinking he reached up and gently pried her hands apart, smoothing her fingers out of their bloodless grip. "Relax," he soothed quietly.

Mako stilled at his touch, staring in wonder as he so effortlessly quieted her vice-like grip, his fingers warm and steady compared to her icy ones. His touch left her fingers tingling. Or maybe that was just the blood rushing back into her hands. Mako couldn't decide which made more sense, or which one she preferred and it startled her. She was infinitely glad that they had removed the heart monitor – she swore her heart stopped for a second there.

"Thank you," she whispered so quietly he almost didn't hear it.

Takeru looked up at her face again, but couldn't read it behind her curtain of hair. He checked the need to tuck the long, soft strands behind her ears. A sharp memory penetrated his thoughts – the last time he had moved her hair away from her face to find that beautiful face lit up with an adoring smile and eyes that shone with love. He jerked his hands back into his own lap with a piercing ache. He wasn't sure he wanted to see her expression right now, nor was he entirely confident he would be able to handle it.

The former couple fixated their eyes on opposing walls, unhappy frowns on both their faces, and a sharp pain in their eyes.

Dr. Matsuda felt her heart go out to this couple. What she had to tell them wasn't going to be easy on either of them.

* * *

"Are you ready to go Mako?"

Mako looked up to see Kotoha cautiously peering in through the door. She smiled at the other girl to reassure her though she felt anything but. "Ready to get out of this place!"

Kotoha smiled back. "Good."

Mako hesitated. "Are you sure it's okay if I stay with you for a while?"

"Of course!" Kotoha rushed to assure her. "Absolutely Mako. I always love having you over."

Mako felt her smile freeze on her face and turned quickly to pick up the bag that held some of her personal belongings in it to hide her downcast expression. She plastered on a new smile before she faced Kotoha again. "Okay, then I'm ready."

Kotoha threaded her arm through Mako's in excitement, all but ready to skip for joy. "This is going to be so much fun Mako! We haven't had sleepovers together since you got married. I really missed sharing the apartment with you."

"I'm sorry," Mako answered automatically.

Kotoha laughed. "Don't be! Chiaki moved in not too long after and was originally going to sleep in your old room, but he spends most of it in mine…" She trailed off, her face as red as a poppy.

Mako couldn't help the teasing grin that inched its way across her face. "I see." She laughed lightly and nudged Kotoha gently with her elbow. "Meaning there's plenty of space for me with an entire room to myself?" Kotoha's flush darkened, if it was possible, and Mako laughed again before a thought struck her. "Are you sure I won't be intruding?"

"Oh no, of course not!" Kotoha shook her head rapidly back and forth. "Don't even think about that Mako! Chiaki understands. He told me he was going to give the two of us some space before I could even ask him!" She smiled brightly. "He always seems to know what I'm thinking without me having to say a word."

Mako looked at the young woman next to her and smiled gently. "He sounds like a pretty good guy to me."

"He is!" Kotoha's eyes lit up like the heaven's. "Oh Mako, I can't wait to be married too!"

"When's the wedding?"

Kotoha paused for a moment in confusion, forgetting for a moment that Mako truly had forgotten and wasn't just teasing her. "Oh. Right… It's in a few months."

Mako winced, realizing she should have remembered – if she _could_ remember. Obviously she and Kotoha had been really close to share an apartment together so soon after meeting in that Self-Defense class. They had lived together for nearly three years before she was… Mako's thoughts trailed off, unwilling to face the ever-looming problem just yet.

Kotoha bit her lip, stealing a glance at Mako as they walked down the hospital hallways, heading for the exit.

"What is it?" Mako asked, not sure if Kotoha was going to bring whatever was on her mind up or not. She had been very careful not to talk about anything that could really upset her – specifically Takeru.

"Well," Kotoha's eyes watched the floor now. "It's just – before the accident – well, Mako, you were my Maid of Honor. And," she looked back up at Mako. "I'd still really like you to be."

Mako stumbled in surprise.

"It's okay if you don't want to be!" Kotoha rushed to explain. "I know this is all overwhelming for you, and I _completely_ understand if you don't –"

"I'd like that," Mako whispered. "If it's okay with you. Though I'm not sure I'm exactly the right person now to –" Mako felt herself engulfed in a giant hug.

"Thank you Mako." Kotoha's voice was heavy with emotion.

Mako felt tears well up, for the first time in a bittersweet smile. She had finally made someone feel genuinely happy since she'd woken up, but she knew it was a far cry from what they all truly wanted.

Kotoha pulled back with a smile, wiping at the tears on her own face with the back of her hand. She laughed. "Let's get you out of this place."

Mako nodded an answering smile of her own. "Please!"

* * *

Kotoha bustled about the two bedroom apartment in a flurry.

"I'm sorry I don't have more of your own things here."

Mako shook her head. "It's okay. I'm just glad I have somewhere to stay Kotoha, really, I appreciate all that you're doing more than I can say."

Kotoha smiled brightly. "You're my friend Mako." She said it like it explained everything, and in a way, it did. She sat next to Mako on the freshly made bed. "I'll stop over at your –the other house and pick up some of your clothes in the morning. You're not going to fit into too much of mine." She giggled. "You're just a little taller than me."

Mako looked down at the pajama bottoms Kotoha had lent her; the hem was just above her ankles. "I could just tell everyone I'm currently very into the cropped pants style?" Her smile grew when Kotoha's giggles became laughter. Mako looked around the room. It was plain that Kotoha's fiancé hadn't really had any intentions of staying in this room; his personality was stamped all around the apartment but this room was plainly now a guest room. "So where is Chiaki staying?" She asked in curiosity. "Is he at a different apartment or should I be expecting to run into him when we brush our teeth in the morning?"

Kotoha giggled again. "You're the early morning riser Mako – not him. He'd sleep until the afternoon if I left alone." She shook her head good-naturedly. "He's staying at Takeru's right now. I think Genta is too actually. They didn't want him to be alone…right now…" She trailed off when she realized what she had said.

Mako gave her a half smile. "It's okay."

Kotoha put her arm around Mako in one-armed hug. "Are you sure?"

Mako shrugged. "To be honest? I don't know. But I understand. And he's your friend Kotoha, and was my…" She trailed off too. "Well, it's not like we can avoid talking about it. So…" She shrugged again.

Kotoha studied her with a critical eye. "Don't be afraid to talk to me Mako. About _anything_, okay?"

Mako nodded. "I will." She noticed that Kotoha was still watching her. "I promise."

"Okay," Kotoha nodded. She glanced at the clock in the room. "I'll let you get to bed then; hospital beds can't be all too comfortable."

A small smile lit back on Mako's face at the thought of sleeping in a _real_ bed again, with no nurse to come in and check up on you in the middle of the night, and no doctors coming in and out of the room. She sighed in delight. "I can't wait."

Kotoha laughed and gave her friend one last hug for the night. "Sleep well Mako. If you need anything, I'm right down the hall."

"Right."

Kotoha stood and crossed the room, closing the door behind her with a quiet click of the doorknob.

Mako looked around the room, taking everything in as she breathed in deeply. She collapsed backwards on the bed as she let her breath out gustily. It was strange. She didn't recognize this place at all, but it didn't feel entirely foreign to her either. Dr. Matsuda had mentioned that things like this would be normal. Since Mako had spent so much time in this place, some things would be familiar to an unconscious part of her – muscle memory was what she had called it.

Mako had already experienced it once in the shower that day. She had reached for the shampoo without a thought and had been thoroughly startled that it had been right where her hand knew to grab for it. She didn't know if it was just a logical place for shampoo to be or if Kotoha and she had always placed a bottle there and Mako was just "remembering" it.

She blew her bangs out of her face. It was frustrating and a little irritating. She felt like a child in a lot of ways – having to "relearn" so many things all over again but obviously grown enough that they should be second nature.

Dr. Matsuda had said to take it slow, to reacclimatize herself to her surroundings. She had suggested that Mako stay with a more familiar friend for now instead of the house she shared with Takeru, her…husband. Mako shifted her head on the covers. Even thinking the word still sounded weird to her.

She had nothing against Takeru, and from what she had seen of him, he seemed like a really great guy. _Easy on the eyes too_, her mind helpfully added. Mako flushed. He really _was_ good-looking, something she had noticed immediately when he had first stepped into her hospital room. There was no use denying it now.

In the few times they had been in the same room together she could tell that he cared for her _very_ much. _Loves you, you mean_, her mind once again supplied. Mako rolled over onto her stomach, resting her chin on her crossed arms.

She knew it. Could _feel_ it. It practically radiated from him; his every move was protective, concerned, and gentle when he was around her. He had reacted almost instinctually several times, catching her off guard. It was like he knew what she was thinking before she was even aware of it.

Mako heard the words echo in her head, recalling that Kotoha has said something similar to her about her fiancé, Chiaki, just earlier that day.

_I guess that's what it means to be a couple – to be in love. _She frowned. _I just wish I knew how _I _felt. _She studied her mini tornado of internal turmoil.

_Confusion? Definitely. Frustration? All the time. Lonely? _She paused, curling onto her side. Yes. She definitely could say she felt lonely. She missed…something.

She snorted. _I'd say you're missing a lot of things right now. Like five years of your life._

Mako studied the loneliness again. While she definitely wanted those five years back, it just felt like something…more.

She missed her friends, she realized. She had been told Kotoha, Chiaki, Takeru, and…_Ryunosuke and Genta_ her mind reminded her, had all been friends for years now. Like a team; a single unit – inseparable. In many ways they had become like a family to each other. The loneliness definitely stemmed in part from that. Except for Kotoha and occasionally Takeru, the rest had all kept their distance from her. Kotoha had insisted when Mako asked casually about it that this was because they didn't want to overcrowd her –overwhelm her when she was struggling to understand. They wanted to give her some time to re-orientate herself and find some stable ground first. She appreciated it but still felt sort of…shunned too. Takeru's distance from her was something Mako better understood. How was he supposed to act in the same room as his wife when she insisted that she _wasn't_ one because she had no recollection of it? What was he supposed to say to that? She flushed again at the memory of her first words about the subject when she had just woken up from the coma.

The doctors had said that it was "normal," even natural. But Mako still felt like all it did was cause everyone else pain and force an already touchy subject into an even more awkward one. Not that it was anyone's fault, nor had anyone said a word but it was plain for those with eyes to see it. It was the metaphorical "elephant in the room."

Mako sighed. _And I didn't exactly help matters by asking to be addressed by my maiden name at the hospital either. Way to go Mako. _She glanced up at the head of the bed and reached out to pull one of the pillows toward her, hugging it to her chest tightly.

When she studied the loneliness more closely she saw that she missed…someone. Most likely Takeru, she knew. She'd already experienced these seemingly irrational moments that when she felt ready to snap and break down that there would be a pair of arms there to catch her before her free fall. Only to abruptly find that no one was coming – no one was there. It had hit her several times during her stay in the hospital and it was disorientating, not to mention miserable.

_How can you long for someone you don't remember? Someone you don't know? _

Why, upon further examination, was there a well of grief surrounding that loneliness? She supposed she knew – the doctors had filled her in on what was to be expected, but how could you miss something you didn't remember having? How were you supposed to deal with the loss when to you it had never existed in the first place?

Mako sat up briefly and turned down the sheets, crawling underneath them just before she turned off the table lamp beside her bed. She stared at her wall in the darkness, clutching the pillow to her again, her arms aching for a shadow of a thing currently beyond her grasp.

It would be another long night. One that she felt even the brilliant light of a new day would be unable to penetrate.


	4. Same Old Routine

**Author's Notes: **Well, this story seems to be flying out fast at the moment, not that I'm complaining. If it wants to be written _now_ than all the better. I will try to get another chapter of _Ceteris Paribus_ up soon too. The next chapter just needs some editing. Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. :) Enjoy!

Happy "unofficial holiday" to all the American Football fans as the enjoy their Super Bowl. XD I'll never quite understand it...

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Three: Same Old Routine_

"Good morning Mako!" Kotoha chirped as she entered the kitchen.

Mako attempted a smile but it got lost somewhere between the giant yawn and her almost desperate need for caffeine.

Kotoha frowned. "Still having trouble sleeping?"

Mako nodded around another large yawn. "I don't understand why either. I'm getting to bed at a decent hour, I'm completely comfortable… I don't get it."

Kotoha reached for the tea kettle and poured herself a cup. "The doctor warned you that if you stayed stressed out that you might have trouble." She took a sip and felt the hot liquid warm her all the way to her toes. "Remember when you'd stay up studying the night before a test and then get so stressed out about passing it that you couldn't sleep?"

Mako nodded. "Unfortunately it seems that those are memories I _haven't_ lost," she all but grumbled into her own cup.

Kotoha smiled. "Don't worry Mako, we _all_ have those memories, but I think it's similar to your situation now. You're trying too hard to get your memories back and it's stressing you out – you're not going to be able to sleep properly at all if you keep this up. Your doctor recommended some sleeping aids, I can pick some up for you if you'd like?"

Mako shook her head. "Thanks but I'd really like to avoid medication if I can help it. I have enough problems as it is, and I don't think Takeru would be happy to find out that I started taking drugs to cope." She took a long sip of her tea, draining her cup, and stood to refill it.

Kotoha sighed. Takeru had all but called every day to ask how Mako was doing. She hadn't bothered to hide this from Mako. What good would it have served? But it really didn't seem like _either_ of them was coping very well. According to Chiaki, Takeru wasn't sleeping well either.

"Are you sure you want to come with me Mako?" Kotoha watched her friend carefully as Mako responded.

Mako took her time in answering, truly considering the question. "I know it's going to be stressful on everyone if I go, but it would be even more stressful if I don't go, right?"

"But everyone would understand _why_ Mako," Kotoha rushed to assure her, cutting herself off when Mako held up a hand to stop her.

"I know and I appreciate it, but they've given me two weeks of space."

"Chiaki comes over all the time." Kotoha looked at her confused.

Mako laughed. "I know, and I'm glad. It makes me feel less like I've contracted the plague or something."

Kotoha looked thoroughly shocked. "That was _never_ anyone's intention Mako! I swear!"

Mako held her hands up in defense. "That's not what I meant…exactly. I just – I'm really, truly grateful that they gave me some space – some room to breathe. But I have to face them sometime, right? The doctor said that the best way for me to get my memories back is to slowly return back to my old routine, and we all used to hang out, right?"

Kotoha nodded her head rapidly. "All the time!"

"Then I need to start doing that again." She bit her lip. "I know it's going to be awkward at first, but hopefully with time it'll get easier." She studied the herbs floating in her hot cup. "Hopefully the memories start coming back faster," she whispered to herself.

* * *

"Hey Kotoha," Ryunosuke greeted her as he opened the door to his apartment. "How've you been?"

"Good!" Kotoha beamed. "Is everyone else here yet?"

"Almost," he stood aside to let her in. "Genta went to the store to pick up a few last minute things; Takeru went with him. They'll be back soon." His gaze lit upon the shy person standing behind his bubbly friend. "Mako…"

Mako looked up, nervous. "Hi." Her voice was quiet. "I hope I'm not intruding…"

"No, no! Not at all! Come on in!" He ushered Mako in behind Kotoha, directing her to where she could hang her winter coat.

Mako unwound the scarf from around her neck and hung it on the same peg as her jacket before tucking her gloves into her coat's pockets. She slipped off her boots and placed them next to Kotoha's – when in doubt follow the person before you. She trailed behind her friend, further into the small but comfortable apartment. She watched as Kotoha greeted her fiancé enthusiastically.

"So…how are you Mako?" Ryunosuke asked cautiously as the two watched the couple in front of them.

"Good, thank you," she answered back quietly. "And you?"

"Good," he nodded. "Good."

There was an awkward silence, broken by Kotoha's excited voice. "When do you think they'll be back Ryunosuke?" Chiaki had his arms wrapped around her from behind and was holding her closely. It was clear to Mako that he missed being around his other half and she felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

Ryunosuke looked at the clock. "Should be any minute now actually." He turned to Mako. "Go ahead and take a seat, Mako. Make yourself at home."

Mako nodded awkwardly, eyeing the furniture before her. Where did everyone else sit? She didn't want to take someone else's spot. With a mental sigh she finally settled on the couch, scooting to its far side to give anyone else who wanted to sit there plenty of room.

There was a quiet silence and Mako looked up. "What? Did I do something wrong?"

Kotoha shook her head, breaking from Chiaki's hold to sit next to her friend and embrace her gently. "No," she told her softly. "You just picked the spot you always do."

"Oh," Mako felt her cheeks flush and a flutter rise in her stomach. Kotoha's smile was bright.

"Yeah, you'd always pick that spot and then Takeru would sit – " Ryunosuke's words were cut off by a sharp jab of Chiaki's elbow to his stomach.

"Can it," Chiaki muttered.

"What was that for?!" Ryunosuke burst out when he had caught his breath.

"Don't make her uncomfortable."

"I wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, I was trying to help."

"She doesn't need to be all stressed out before they even get here."

"How would telling her where everyone sat stress her out!? It's a seat on a couch!"

Chiaki groaned and dropped his hand into his head. "Forget it."

Kotoha and Mako stared at the two for a moment before catching the other's eye. They couldn't stop the smiles that slid across their faces or the giggles that erupted.

"Did we miss something?" A voice called from the hallway, the sound of keys jingling mixed with the rustle of plastic bags.

"Just Ryunosuke being an idiot," Chiaki called.

Ryunosuke gaped at his friend. "I was _not_! I was simply trying to explain – "

"Yeah, yeah," Chiaki cut him off again with a wave of his hand. "We know."

Ryunosuke's mouth gaped like a fish, unable to come up with a suitable response. Kotoha burst into giggles again and Mako worked to hide her grin behind her hand.

The owner of the voice emerged from the hallway, his winter clothing removed, bags still in hand as he made his way to the kitchen. He paused for only the shortest of moments, taking in the room's occupants before a quick grin lit his face. "Gang's all here then?"

"Yep!" Kotoha beamed.

Genta's grin grew as he met Mako's eyes briefly and continued to the kitchen. "Don't forget the bags Take-chan!" He called back over his shoulder.

Mako felt her heart lurch and her hands fist in her skirt as the last member of the party entered the apartment. _Takeru_.

Takeru was all but rolling his eyes as he trailed behind his friend. "It's hard to forget them between the front door and the kitchen." Genta's laugh echoed back at them and Takeru shook his head. He too paused in the room to greet everyone briefly until his eyes lit upon Mako and he nearly dropped the bags he was carrying.

"Hi," he greeted her quietly.

"Hi," her answer was shy and soft.

Takeru continued his way to the kitchen but his eyes kept darting back to his wife. For her part, Mako's face was flushed and her heart pounded in her chest. The rest of the room's occupants watched the scene with cautious, guarded expressions. Kotoha looked slightly crestfallen but hopeful.

There was a great deal of rustling noise from the kitchen as bags were unpacked, the only sound now in the room. Ryunosuke, feeling the tension, moved to head toward the kitchen. "I'm going to see if they need any help."

Chiaki shook his head again, his arms crossed over his chest before he turned to his fiancée and friend. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked Mako seriously.

Mako's head jerked into a nod. "I'll be fine. Thank you for worrying about me."

Chiaki shrugged. "You're our friend Mako. It's what we do."

Mako's smile was quiet. "Thanks."

"And don't mind Ryunosuke," he told her. "He just likes to get a little…overzealous at times."

Mako's smile grew. "I noticed."

Chiaki grinned back. "Hard not to, right?"

Mako smiled back and Kotoha covered her giggles.

"So how are you doing over at your old apartment? Any luck sleeping much yet?"

Mako shook her head reluctantly. "No."

Kotoha turned to her fiancé. "I think its stress but –" She cut herself off as Genta re-entered the room drying his hands off on a towel with a large grin. "Mako! Come join me in the kitchen! I have a new recipe that you can try your hands at. I promise you it's a simple one this time."

Mako stared blankly at the grinning young man before her. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Cooking," he exclaimed happily. "Come on, time for you to get more practice in."

Mako stood from the couch a little shakily. "I can cook now?"

Genta laughed. "You were determined to improve before you got married, and I've been showing you different things ever since. Come on, time's a wasting. Everyone'll be hungry soon."

Chiaki scowled at his friend. "Is that such a good idea right now?"

Genta patted Chiaki on the back enthusiastically. "No time like the present!"

Chiaki rolled his eyes and muttered as Kotoha urged him to let Genta try.

Mako followed Genta almost in a trance. She _did_ remember always wanting to learn how to improve her cooking before she got married – that had been a goal of hers since she first tried her hands at it as a teenager and had begun to even _dream_ of getting married. Apparently, things hadn't changed there, even after…marriage. She shook her head at the last thought to clear it from her mind, being all flustered about that at the moment would not keep her hands steady around sharp objects.

As the pair entered the kitchen, Ryunosuke took one look at them before dashing out. "If she's going to be in here cooking, I'm out!"

"She hasn't blown anything up or caught anything on fire in _years_ Ryunosuke!" Genta called back.

"She also hasn't cooked in a while," Ryunosuke warned, half-serious, half-jokingly. "I'm not taking my chances."

"It's just like riding a bike," he said in a loud enough voice to carry back out to the other room before shaking his head at the laughter that followed. "Ignore them Mako, you'll do fine."

Mako's cheeks were red with embarrassment. She looked around the room and her eyes met with Takeru's. They stared at each other for a moment before he gave her a small smile and hastily made his exit.

"Not you too Take-chan!" Genta moaned. "Am I the only one who has any faith here?"

Mako studied her sock-clad feet. "I don't think it's my cooking that scared him out."

Genta shook his head again and sighed. "I know. He's been eating your cooking for over three years now, he knows better than anyone how much it's improved." He caught Mako's forlorn look and smiled, giving her an encouraging one-armed hug. "Don't worry! It's not you."

Mako gave him an incredulous look. "I'm supposed to be his wife – a wife who can't even remember their first date or the day they met. How is it _not_ me?"

Genta moved to arrange the ingredients on the counter. "He just doesn't know how to act around you right now is all. Every time he looks at you, he still sees the same person he fell in love with, the same person he chose to marry and start a life with. It's hard to reconcile that with the same person now not even remembering his existence."

Mako felt a flood of guilt wash through her system once more, her stomach sick. "I'm sorry."

Genta looked over and smiled encouragingly at her. "Don't be! It's not yours, or anyone's fault. It's just something that happened – for whatever reason. Take-chan's more relieved you're alive and largely unharmed than anything. He'd rather wait for your memories to come back than to be attending your funeral." He looked at her square in the eye, all seriousness. "Now _that_ would truly kill him." He directed her to the chopping board, gave her a knife and pointed out the vegetables to use.

"You should have seen his face at the hospital Mako," Genta's voice was uncharacteristically quiet. "I've _never_ seen Takeru look like that before. And I hope I never have to see it again."

She paused in her ministrations and met Genta's eyes in surprise. He nodded back.

"Takeru doesn't panic, as a rule. But when he called me from his car as he rushed to the hospital, right after he got the call that you were in route there yourself after being in an accident… I didn't know what true terror could sound like." He adjusted her grip on the knife minutely before continuing. "And then to sit next to you day in and day out for three days as we all waited for you to wake up – if you were ever _going_ to wake up? Trust me, losing a few memories is _nothing_ compared to that."

Mako felt her brows rise at Genta's admission. No one had spoken so openly about the accident before, especially where Takeru was concerned. They were all so gentle about it – they didn't want to upset her, but Mako felt a sense of relief that someone finally wasn't tiptoeing around the subject or avoiding it altogether for that matter – like it had never happened. It was oddly…comforting to have someone be so frank about it all. And she supposed it was just Genta's personality that allowed such an ease of comfort. Though she thought it a bit amusing that he referred to her amnesia as just losing a "few" memories. Still, she felt a part of her relax as the missing pieces were filled in – she had always wanted to know about the days she would never be able to remember as she had lain there in a coma.

"How is he doing now?" She ventured to ask after he directed her to the main dish.

"Not as well as I'd like," Genta answered her, watching her hands and their every movement. "He's doing okay, given the circumstances, but he isn't sleeping well and that's starting to take a toll on him."

"Me too," she admitted.

Genta looked at her face briefly. "Trouble sleeping?"

She nodded. "Kotoha says I'm too stressed out – that I'm not letting myself relax enough to sleep. Kind of like the night before a test that determines your entire grade for the class."

Genta nodded slowly. "That makes sense. But I think a lot of it has to do with Takeru too."

"Takeru?" Mako looked up at Genta in surprise but he just redirected her to the meal preparation.

"You two have been sleeping together for nearly as long as I've been teaching you to cook."

Mako's hand jerked at the comment, splashing sauce out of the pot. Her entire face was burning with embarrassment. She couldn't sputter out enough of a word to be coherent.

Genta laughed. "Don't be embarrassed! I've been his friend since we were born Mako. At the rate he was going before he met you I thought he'd be celibate for the rest of our lives. Trust me; I knew the moment it happened."

Mako felt her curiosity bubble in time with the water on the stove. "What was he like?"

Genta grinned down at her. "Interested again are we?"

Mako flushed but nodded.

Genta leaned against the counter, arms crossed as he watched her continue cooking. "Before he met you, I wasn't even sure he was interested in girls."

"You mean…?"

"Nah," Genta's smile widened. "Not like that. Just that he seemed to see everyone the same. He never took a genuine interest in someone, but the day you two met?" He shook his head. "You'd think the stars aligned in the heavens or something."

Mako felt warmth seeping into her, and she was fairly positive it wasn't just because of her close proximity to the stove top.

"You've been really good for him," Genta continued. "He's always had a hard time around other people. He'd be himself around me, but he even had a hard time sometimes around Chiaki and Ryunosuke." He shook his head in wonder. "I don't know how you did it, but you changed something in him. He opened up more, laughed more – you rarely heard him laugh before then."

Mako looked at Genta in disbelief. He held out his hands. "Honest."

Mako snorted her skepticism.

Genta grinned. "You changed too."

"I did?"

"That right there," he pointed.

Mako looked around. "What?"

"That little snort of disbelief – you never would have done something like that out loud before. You would have carefully hidden it behind a polite smile instead."

Mako's hand stilled, her eyes widened slightly before she continued stirring. He was right. She'd always been so "careful" before. Always hid behind that smile. She hadn't even realized she'd changed. Even after waking up from the coma and not remembering the past five years hadn't reverted her back to her old self, and the most bewildering part was that she didn't even _realize_ she'd changed since then.

She looked up at Genta in wonder.

"You've been good for each other," he told her with a bright smile.

* * *

Dinner had been a fun and, at times, awkward affair. Her cooking had come out fine – just like Genta had said it would, and the conversations had been full of laughter and chatter.

She couldn't always participate as she'd like – it was hard to add something to the "Remember the time when…" if she didn't remember the times. But she laughed all the same to the ridiculous stories. Genta and Kotoha filled in the blanks easily for her if she didn't quite grasp something. Chiaki and Ryunosuke bickered back and forth like brothers. Takeru mostly sat there quietly, cracking a small smile every so often but mostly keeping to himself. Mako caught him watching her every so often, and she heard Genta's voice echo in her head from their earlier conversation.

After dinner and then clean-up, someone suggested watching a movie. There ensued a miniature scene of chaos as everyone ran around trying to decide on _which_ movie to watch, locating the popcorn and other snacks, and fighting over who would sit where.

Mako kept to her seat on the couch, choosing to stay out of the way instead of being underfoot.

Eventually everyone began to settle down in front of the television as Takeru popped the movie in.

Mako smiled back at Kotoha who looked content to stay inside her fiancé's arms the rest of the night as she settled back against his chest to watch the show. Mako felt a sudden dip in the seat cushion next to her and she looked over in intense surprise to see Takeru sitting next to her. He froze for a moment, as if realizing where he was sitting, and warily met her wide-eyed gaze. Something raced across his face, almost too brief to catch it, before he made a motion to move.

Mako had recognized the expression for what it was; she felt it herself all too keenly. The look of someone who was lost, frustrated and in pain. Her hand shot out before she had the conscious thought to move it. They both stilled and looked at her hand on his wrist.

"It's okay," she whispered quietly, as the opening credits rolled. "Please. Stay."

He watched her until she met his eyes with her own. Whatever he saw there must have quieted something within him because he relaxed back into the cushions with a nod. Reluctantly Mako retracted her hand, encasing it in her other as she tried to recapture the warmth it had felt at their touch.

Later, if Mako had been asked what the movie was that night, she would have been unable to answer. She watched the movie without really taking it in – the warmth of the body next to her too distracting for any other thoughts.

Ever so slowly she allowed herself to relax as bodies shifted naturally. Mako didn't notice when her and Takeru's bodies where side-by-side, touching from knee to shoulder. She _did_ notice, however, when she began to doze off. She fought it at first – not wanting to be caught asleep in front of everyone, but the harder she seemed to fight, the more sleep seemed to steal over her. It had been an exhausting two weeks and her body was finally dropping – finally relaxed enough to _want_ to drift off into slumber. Mako eventually caved into the inevitable and let her eyes slide shut, instantly asleep.

It wasn't until her head gently fell against his shoulder that Takeru realized Mako had fallen asleep. He looked over in hazy surprise to see her eyes shut fast and her breathing evening out – deepening by the second. Her body was leaning into his for warmth and support and it took a considerable amount of willpower to keep his hands in his lap. Against his better judgment he allowed one hand to slowly reach out to one of hers and he grasped it in his own, squeezing gently. To his delight she sighed contently and snuggled closer to him in her sleep, completely unaware of her movements.

He smiled quietly and allowed his head to rest upon hers, his own eyes going out of focus as the movie blurred. Before he knew it, he too had drifted off, completely oblivious to everything else around him except the warm body tucked next to his – the one his arms ached to hold.

Genta, who had watched the entire scene as it was vastly more entertaining than any movie they could be watching, couldn't contain his grin. He elbowed Ryunosuke and nodded in the couple's direction. Ryunosuke almost fell out of his seat in shock but quickly recovered, throwing a pillow at Chiaki's head.

"What the –!" He started before he was hushed with wild arm movements. In complete bewilderment he and Kotoha studied Genta and Ryunosuke's hand signals until their eyes lit upon the objects of their excitement.

Kotoha had a difficult time containing her absolute glee. Even Chiaki couldn't keep a large grin off his face.

Throughout the rest of the movie, the four were divided almost evenly between watching the show and watching the sleeping couple. As the ending credits began they extracted themselves quietly from the room and made towards the kitchen to give the couple some semblance of quiet and privacy.

Hours later Mako felt herself being shaken awake from the best sleep she'd had in weeks. Her body was so exhausted still that she barely registered Kotoha's apologies as she tried to focus. She felt the low rumble of someone's sleepy voice above her head and felt herself drifting again.

"Just bring her things here, we'll work on it together," Takeru worked to cover a yawn as he directed Kotoha to Mako's winter clothes hanging in the hallway. Genta had woken him from sleep to let him know they had to get Mako into bed. Takeru had felt his body screaming against the idea but let his brain overrule it in favor of her comfort over his.

Kotoha quickly made her way back into the room, clothes in hand and set to work sliding Mako's feet into her boots after she handed Takeru the rest. Ever so gently, so as not to wake her, Takeru wrapped Mako's scarf around her neck and tucked her into her jacket. When Kotoha nodded that she was finished, Takeru stood for a moment to accept his own winter coat before turning to his wife and picking her up from the couch. She leaned automatically into his chest, as he carried her out the door, only pausing to slide his feet into his own boots.

As the cold winter air hit them, Takeru felt himself awaken more fully even as Mako chose to hide herself further into his chest, trying to flee from the sudden chill. She mumbled in her sleep in protest against the abrupt change in temperature. He smiled and held her closer as he followed Kotoha to her car.

When Kotoha had opened the door for him, Takeru slid Mako into her seat, holding her upright with one arm as he reached around her to buckle her in with the other. She frowned in her sleep when he drew back from her. He smiled gently and traced a finger over her jawline before quietly shutting the car door.

"Drive safe," he told Kotoha as she hugged everyone good-by, including him.

"I will," she smiled back in confidence before waving her good-nights and sliding into the driver seat.

Takeru stood with his friends and watched until the vehicle's lights were out of sight before turning to enter Ryunosuke's apartment to gather his own things and head home. A large part of him balked at the thought of returning to his cold, empty home, with its even colder, empty bed but bit back the longing with a deep sigh.

"Don't worry Take-chan," he heard Genta's low voice at his side before an arm was slung over his shoulder in camaraderie. "All will right itself again soon."

Takeru didn't reply knowing that "soon" couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

Mako next felt herself awaken with a shake as Kotoha's voice finally penetrated her sleep. "Come on Mako, we're home."

_Home?_ Mako's sleep-addled brain brought up sensations of warmth, love, and a strong pair of arms. She shivered violently when Kotoha opened the car door and a rush of bitterly cold air found its way in. She opened her eyes blurrily in confusion. "Where are we?"

"Home," Kotoha reiterated. "I'm sorry I had to wake you, but the movie ended a while ago and it was getting late."

"This isn't home," Mako mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Where's – " Her eyes snapped open. "How did we get back to your apartment?!"

Kotoha bit back a smile. "I drove?"

Mako looked around wildly as she stepped out of the car. "But how did I get in the car? I don't remember leaving Ryunosuke's apartment."

Kotoha shrugged nonchalantly and lead the way to her floor. "We carried you. You were so tired that I was having trouble waking you the first time."

"We?" Mako questioned.

"Well, not exactly 'we'," she amended as she searched for her keys. "Takeru carried you."

"He did?" Mako asked, trying and failing to remember much of any of it. She vaguely remembered waking up once but it was too dream-like to recall any specifics. All she could remember was warmth. Warmth and a deep sense of contentment.

"Mmhmm," Kotoha answered off-handedly as she turned the keys in the lock and switched on the light. The two girls stepped in and out of the cold as quickly as they could. As they took off their winter clothes Kotoha gave a large yawn and rubbed at her own eyes. "I'm going to go to bed Mako. Are you staying up?"

Mako shook her head, her thoughts still abuzz. "No, I'll try to get some more sleep. Maybe after finally getting some sleep there my body will let me get some more tonight."

Kotoha nodded in agreement, unable to answer at first as another yawn overtook her. "Okay, sleep well. I'll see you in the morning."

Mako wished her friend good-night before heading to her former room. She changed swiftly out of her clothes and dived under the covers, chills wracking her body for several minutes until the sheets warmed beneath her. But even as they finally warmed she knew that this wasn't the warmth her body was searching for. She turned on her side with a sigh, now wide-awake.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, Mako resigned herself to sleepless rest of the night. With a groan she heaved herself out of bed and made for the kitchen, warming herself up a cup of tea and sat at the kitchen table. She stared out the window lost in thought until the sun rose in the new morning sky.


	5. Homecoming

**Author's Notes: **I'm very anxious/curious to hear your reactions to this chapter. I kept tweaking things here and there until the words started to blur on the screen. So now I'm going to leave it alone and let you have at it instead. XD Haha Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. Enjoy!

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Four: Homecoming _

"Chiaki," Kotoha's voice was strained as she spoke urgently into the phone. "We need to _do_ something. Mako hasn't slept in _three_ _days_. She's – she's not doing very well." Kotoha quickly stole a glance over her shoulder to peek on her friend who had tucked herself into a corner of the couch, staring at nothing. "I don't know what's _wrong_." Kotoha answered back to her fiancé, her voice cracking a little under the strain. "Depressed? Mako?" She shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see. "Mako doesn't get depressed like that. You know her; she gets down sometimes, but _never_ like that." She paused, listening. "I know things have been different since the accident, but she's still _Mako_." Kotoha bit her lip, her brows creased in anxiety. "Takeru? Sure, put him on."

Kotoha stole another glance out at the living room – Mako hadn't moved. "Takeru?" Kotoha was diverted by the new voice over her phone line. "Yes, it's Mako, she – no, no! Nothing like that! She just – Chiaki told you? Okay." She paused, thinking hard. "The last time she really slept well was when we were altogether at Ryunosuke's place." Her eyes widened slightly as she listened intently to Takeru's voice on the line. "Do you think that will work?" Her hands clutched at her phone in near desperate hope. "No, no, it's okay! Honestly, if you think it will help than I don't mind at all." She nodded to everything Takeru said, agreeing vocally as well to his instructions to let him know she had heard him. "Okay," she answered finally, a little breathlessly. "I'll get everything ready." She hung up the phone and peeked into the room. Mako still hadn't budged an iota.

Kotoha approached her friend tentatively, worry evident in her every step. "Mako?" she called softly, relieved when her friend turned to look at her. "I'm going to get a few things together. Will you be okay out here for a bit?"

"Of course," Mako tried and failed at an attempt to smile reassuringly, she waved her hand listlessly in Kotoha's direction. "I'll be fine out here. I'm just tired."

Kotoha bit her lip but didn't say a word, choosing instead to give her friend a tight hug. She hurried out of the room and Mako could hear her bustling about in the apartment, busy with something. While curious, Mako found that she just didn't have the energy to go and see. She shivered and pulled the blanket higher from her lap to encase her shoulders.

_Were winter's always this cold or is it just this week?_ She rested her head on her hand and stared blankly at the wall. _How can I be so tired and still not be able to sleep? I don't get it._ She sighed and was surprised to hear that it came out a bit shaky. _Stressing much, Mako?_ She asked herself. "Great," she mumbled before letting her head fall back on the couch, snuggling up in her pocket of induced warmth.

Mako's eyes suddenly popped open when she heard movement in the hall. She sighed. This had been happening a lot the past two days. She'd be awake one minute and then suddenly find herself opening her eyes, wondering when she had fallen asleep and for how long the next. It was never enough though, just a second or two, sometimes half a minute. She was starting to get frustrated.

Kotoha walked back into the living room with an overly-cheerful smile. "Mako!" Her voice was bright but Mako could hear the anxiety in it. "You have a visitor."

Mako held in a groan. She wanted _sleep_ not company. She turned her heavy head toward her friend and was surprised to see Takeru following behind her.

_What are you doing here?_ She wanted to ask, but couldn't think of a way to say it at the moment without it sounding accusing or rude. Her brain was a little fuzzy on a number of things as of late.

Kotoha sat gingerly next to Mako on the couch, taking her friend's hand in her own. "Mako," she started, a little nervously. "Takeru's here to take you home."

_Home?_ Mako tried to recall memories of home. She remembered the vaguest feeling of warmth, security and deep affection but couldn't picture it. Her confusion must have shown because suddenly Kotoha was hastily trying to explain.

"I love having you here with me Mako, honest! You're my friend and I want to help you in any way that I can right now, but you need _sleep_ – you need to be where you're the most comfortable. I know the doctor said that the best way to regain your memories was to be in familiar surroundings, but that you might not be ready to go back just yet, but I – we – "

Mako's eyes were wide at Kotoha's rushed explanations, only able to take in about half of what she was trying to say. Her brain was still trying to decode the first half and failing in its dizzying state.

Takeru laid a hand on Kotoha's shoulder to stop the frenzied outburst, his eyes studying Mako. He frowned internally as he noted that she had lost weight, her eyes were only half-focused, and she looked like she was swaying ever so slightly, as if her head was too heavy to hold itself up on its own anymore. He bent down in front of her so that she was able to focus on him and he was better able to watch her.

"I would like you to come back with me," he told her softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

Kotoha's gaze darted back and forth between her two friends, gauging each one's reaction.

"Go back with you?" Mako asked, blinking rapidly to clear her vision. She suddenly found herself engulfed in a pair of strong, warm arms and she started slightly in surprise. The arms held her tighter.

"Come back home," his tone had an edge to it that sliced through her haze and went straight into her heart. "_Please._"

There was a moment to marvel that he had never once demanded that she return with him, always choosing to ask, before she realized that her arms were already wrapped around him, all but clinging to his solid support. Her body had automatically leaned in to his warmth and didn't seem to want to let go. Even in her sleepy haze she was surprised at how _natural_ her automated response felt, not to mention the fierceness of her grip to hang _on_ to that feeling, that came with it.

She was nodding "yes" against his shoulder without any conscious, decisive thought and discovered that it was somewhat of a relief to not be pulling herself in two different directions, caught between what part of her wanted and the other part that was too scared to indulge in.

Takeru's arms tightened even more around her in response and she felt it slightly difficult to breathe with suddenly constricted lung movement. Not that she could find it in her to complain, and to her intense relief, she did not want to.

She stumbled behind him as he first helped her to stand on swaying feet and then guided her to the door. Mako snuck a glance at Kotoha to see that her friend seemed ready to burst with joy. If Mako hadn't known her well enough already, she'd wonder if Kotoha was relieved to be rid of her. Now though, she knew Kotoha was simply ecstatic that things might finally be beginning to return to normal.

Mako felt ridiculous and childlike as they helped her get into her winter clothes before going outside. She was already shivering violently after getting out from under the blanket, and it took a moment before her body heat began to warm the inside of her coat.

Takeru kept an arm around her shoulders as he led her to his vehicle. Kotoha was right behind the pair of them with a few bags of Mako's things. As he helped her into her seat, Kotoha placed the bags in the backseat before turning to give Mako a tight hug.

"Call me if you need _anything_," she told her. "And I promise to come visit any chance I get."

Mako returned the snug embrace. "Thank you Kotoha."

Kotoha nodded in response, her eyes bright with tears but her smile happy.

"Chiaki was already packing to head back here before I headed out," Takeru told her. "He should be here soon after dropping off Genta at his place."

Kotoha beamed. "Thank you."

Takeru nodded in response before shutting the car door gently and moving around the vehicle to get in the other side. Mako watched as Kotoha waved her good-byes until she couldn't be seen anymore; Mako had waved herself until the movement became too exhausting and she had settled back against the seat. She had a sharp wave of panic as she realized that she was in a car with the husband she couldn't remember, in route to a house they shared that she remembered even less, but before her anxiety could build too high the warmth from the car's heaters began seeping into her chilled body and she was automatically relaxing into her seat, staring out the window in a half-doze. The scenery passed by her largely unnoticed, the images all flitting by too fast for her tired eyes to follow or rememorize.

She must have fallen into one of her short sleeping spells because she was suddenly opening her eyes as the car came to a halt. She sighed quietly when she realized that she didn't recognize the look of the place after a moment of staring at.

"What is it?"

Mako looked over at Takeru who had moved from his seat. "I was hoping I would recognize it but…"

"No luck?" His small smile was wistful, even as his eyes watched her carefully.

She shook her head.

He reached out and briefly squeezed her hands as they lay in her lap. "Don't try to force it."

She nodded, her heart resuming its hurried beat at his touch. He let go too soon for her liking, but he was already out of his seat, shutting the door, and heading around to her side. Mako fumbled with her seatbelt momentarily and was ready to swing her legs out by the time he opened her door. She tried to scramble too fast from her seat and stumbled, but Takeru was there to steady her, his hands firm but gentle at her elbows.

"Are you okay?" He asked, voice laced with concern.

She nodded. "Fine, just a little tired is all."

Takeru kept a secure grip on her as he began to walk her to the front door. She turned to look back at the vehicle briefly but he was already answering her unspoken question. "I'll get your things later. First, we're getting you some sleep."

Mako shook her head. "I'm fine. Really, you don't have to worry about me."

"Kotoha said you hadn't slept in three days."

Mako's cheeks colored, unable to answer back and followed meekly along. After Takeru unlocked the doors and guided her inside, Mako's gaze was unable to focus on any one thing for long. Some desperate part of her seemed to be looking for _anything_ that seemed familiar, but all she could spot were random objects and furniture – as remote from her as they had been in her mind before she saw them again with her eyes.

Before she had time to dwell on this depressing thought long, Takeru was already steering her down a couple of hallways, stopping only when he had reached his obvious destination. Mako stared at the bed in front of her. It didn't _look_ any more familiar to her than the one in Kotoha & Chiaki's apartment, but she didn't really feel like questioning that gloomy thought right now.

Takeru grasped her cold hand and tugged her gently into the room when she made no immediate move to enter on her own. "Go ahead," he insisted. "Lie down and try to sleep."

Mako looked at him dubiously for a moment. "I don't think it's going to work."

Without a thought his hand was on the side of her head and he had placed a kiss on her forehead, sending a deep thrill like electricity racing through her body. "Just try," he urged again.

Mako looked down at her clothes.

"What you're looking for is in the top drawer on the left side of the bed," he answered her without her having to ask.

Her eyes met his briefly, wondering how he did that, but only nodded in response. "Okay." Her voice was quiet. "Thank you."

"If you need anything," his hands reached out to squeeze hers briefly. "Just call for me. I'll be right down the hall."

Mako nodded, biting her lip against the protest as he let her hands go and quietly slipped out of the room, shutting the door silently behind him. She took a moment to stare at where his departing figure had just been before she allowed herself to venture further into the room. With every bit of determination and focus she refrained from looking at anything, deciding it was better left for when she could think past her exhaustion.

The clothes she was looking for were right where he had said they would be. She changed quickly then studied the bed itself for a long moment. With a deep sigh she let it go and slid under the covers. She curled herself into a ball as she waited for the sheets to warm beneath her and contemplated, briefly, the wise-ness of her choice to return to this place that felt largely foreign to her.

She inhaled deeply to try and calm her inner anxiety when she realized that she could smell Takeru around her. A brilliant flush raced across her cheeks at the thought, and felt slightly guilty that it made her heart race just a little faster. She felt like a love-struck teenager on her first date.

_Love-struck? Where did that come from?_ She wondered and snorted at the idea of this being _anything_ like a "first date." Her sleep-deprived brain was really doing a number on her thoughts today.

She rolled over on the bed, grasping the other pillow in her arms and burying her nose in it all the same. Takeru's scent seemed to flow around her and she felt a deep, inner part of herself relax at the familiar aroma, but it still wasn't _quite_ what she was looking for. She laid there for a long time, eyes closed, her face buried in the pillow she was holding tight before sleep claimed her gradually.

* * *

Mako awoke completely disorientated to find that it was dark inside the room and outside the windows, but one glance at the digital clock's bright numbers told her she'd only slept about four hours. It was more than she had in three days but she was still too tired. Moodily she flung the covers off and clambered out of the bed, her eyes searching about in the darkness for something she apparently couldn't find. Her fingers touched the cool metal of the doorknob and she quietly opened the door to peer out into the hallway. The rest of the house was dark too.

With a quiet sigh she eased her way out and stood in the hall. She suddenly realized she wasn't sure what she was doing, where she was going or what she was looking for. She contemplated just climbing back in the bed and trying for more sleep, but something told her it would do no good. Instead she chose to follow where her feet led.

In the shadowy house she ended up in front of a doorway, its door partially cracked open. Without knowing why, she pushed the door open gently and peeked inside. Her eyes immediately alighted upon Takeru, sleeping uneasily in what was obviously a guest bedroom.

Her fingers clutched at the doorframe for a long moment, watching him sleep, her heart racing as she debated her decision. When he frowned in his sleep, she found her feet had taken her across the room before she had registered a decision to do so. Ever so slowly she reached out to brush back dark hair out of his sleeping face. He relaxed instantly under her touch and she smiled sadly.

She eyed the bed for a long time, contemplating, until she came to a compromise with the two warring parts of herself. She walked around to the other side of the bed and gently eased herself on top of the covers next to him. She waited, making sure she hadn't awoken him before she reached out with her hand again to trace her fingers through his hair.

Mako sat there against the headboard for a long time, fascinated, as she watched his sleep even out and he finally fell into a deep, more relaxed sleep. She scooted further down herself until she was lying down next to him in a more comfortable position and continued her ministrations. She was delighted to find that her attempts to relax Takeru were in turn, relaxing her. Eventually her arm stilled in its movements as she settled into her own sleep.

Sleeping atop the covers left her slightly chilled and so in her slumber she snuggled right up against Takeru's back, sighing contently in her dreams as his warmth reached her. As if sensing her presence even unconsciously, Takeru rolled over in his sleep so that they were now facing each other. His arms struggled under the covers for a moment, as if trying to figure out why there was a barrier in front of him. After a moment he was successful and his arms reached out to wrap around Mako's sleeping form and pull her close. She in turn scooted as close as possible, soaking in his presence with a deeply satisfied sigh, her head tucked just underneath his chin.

For the first time in weeks the torn couple slept through the night, feeling like everything was finally beginning to stabilize in their lives without consciously knowing why.

* * *

Takeru awoke the next morning, feeling nearly perfectly relaxed and rested. Blurry eyes opened to find his wife tucked close to him and it took a moment for him to realize why this seemed a little off.

His first thought was to wonder why she was sleeping _on top_ of the covers instead of _in_ them, his next was to wonder what they were doing in the guest bedroom and not their own room, and the last was the swarm of unbidden memories of the past few weeks.

With a start, he looked down at his wife in surprise. He hadn't even heard her come in last night, let alone fall asleep next to him in bed. He wondered if it had been the utter exhaustion or the normalcy of the movement over the years. He settled on an even mixture of both.

Either way, he allowed himself to indulge in the moment, wondering if he'd ever get another chance anytime soon to do so. He told himself it was probably just that she had awoken sometime in the middle of the night and had sought out anything familiar to her, even if it was him. He didn't dare let himself think of another reason just yet.

With a deep sigh of reluctance Takeru began to untangle himself from their sleeping embrace. As he gingerly slipped out from her grip he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead when she stirred slightly in her sleep, causing her to still before breathing evenly once more.

He smiled wistfully before stealing out of the room, rubbing his arms at the slight chill in the air that had crept up on him when he left her presence. With a soft click, the door shut behind him.

Mako's eyes were open in an instant. She raised herself slightly to stare at the closed door before she flopped back down on the bed with a deep sigh. Her fingertips traced the spot where his kiss had left a deep impression inside her and she blushed. Feeling ridiculous with her reaction she brushed away her thoughts before sliding into the spot on the bed he had just abandoned. She let the lingering warmth seep into her, his smell washing over her once more and she felt her body relax instantaneously. Within moments she was asleep once more.

When Takeru peeked into the room later to check on her it was with a warm smile and bittersweet memories that he found her curled up in his spot like a contented kitten, her arms hugging his pillow to her chest tightly as she dozed. Mako had been doing that for as long as they'd been together. She had told him once that she was "searching" for him in her dreams. He sincerely hoped that after the accident, she wasn't searching in vain.


	6. Embrace the Building Storm

**Author's Note: **I was determined to get this out in time in celebration of the holiday of what this story is all about - _Love_. Happy Valentine's Day to all whether you love it, hate it, or are completely apathetic about it. I urge you to do something special for today: watch a favorite movie, re-read an engaging book, laugh away the day with friends...do something _you_ love so that you go to sleep with a smile on your face. :) Enjoy! Constructive Criticism is always welcomed.

_What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us. - Helen Keller_

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Five: Embrace the Building Storm_

When Mako next awoke it was to an unfamiliar room and muted light. She sat up groggily and looked at the time. Her eyebrows shot into her hairline. She had slept away the entire morning! Completely disorientated she slid out of the warm bed and shivered when her bare feet touched the cool ground. She hugged her arms around her to ward off the cold as she shuffled from the room. She peeked her head out into the hallway and tried to get her bearings.

She vaguely remembered the day before, but she had just been so tired that it was kind of hazy to her. The memories of it slowly dawned on her and she realized where she was. With a start she paused in the hallway and let her eyes drift over everything she saw.

Tentatively, with one hand she softly let her fingertips trail along the walls as she let her feet guide her down the hall. Her eyes landed on the picture frames gracing her path and she paused to study each one as she passed – a photo of her parents, one of Takeru and an older gentleman who appeared to be his grandfather, and an old photo of whom might have been Takeru's parents in their younger days. She wondered briefly why there wasn't a more recent photo of them before pressing on. The next frame held a photo of herself embracing Takeru from behind, her arms around his neck as he carried her easily on his back, their happiness all but swallowing her whole the longer she stared. She had to look away as a sharp pain lanced through her chest. She almost didn't want to look at the rest but it was if some other force compelled her. The next frame was a collage of photos, all depicting the entire group – Ryunosuke, Kotoha, Chiaki, Genta, Takeru and herself – at various times and places, enjoying each other's company like a single unit. She spotted another photo of Takeru and a younger woman who looked similar to him.

_Is she family?_ Mako wondered. She gave a frustrated sigh at being unable to recall, deliberating the idea of asking Takeru and muttering to herself about how awkward it would be for him.

Her feet stopped when she reached an open doorway. With a tentative glance she saw that the room was unoccupied and padded quietly on her tiptoes inside. Her hazy memory recognized it as the room she had _originally_ fallen asleep in the night before, and realized that this must have been – still _was_ she reminded herself – the room she and Takeru shared. With that thought she looked down at her pajamas and then at the surrounding drawers in the room.

_Maybe if I can locate some of my old clothes I can get out of these and warm up a little more._ She decided to start with the set of dresser drawers that had contained her sleepwear last night. As she eased the drawer open she felt guilty for snooping then internally scoffed at the idea, as she was only searching around for her own things. She pulled the drawer open wide and began to shift things aside. It was as she lifted a pair of warm sleeping pants with one hand that her other hand stilled at what lay beneath. Her fingers skimmed over the smooth fabric and Mako lifted the garment out to better see it in the half-light that peeked from the gray sky outside the window.

Mako felt her face flush red, her cheeks burning as she held up a very _intimate_ pair of silky sleepwear, its siren red color standing out starkly in the gloom of the room. Her poor heart tripped as she realized there were others like it beneath of various colors and designs, some made of lace, some more modest, and some that were horrifyingly revealing in nature. _What in heaven's name are these?!_ Her mind swirled in an abrupt kaleidoscope of _exactly_ what said clothes were for and exactly _who_ she had been sharing them with. Mako could now feel heat emanating from her already red cheeks, sure her ears had to be red too from the feel of them.

She heard a polite cough from behind her and Mako whirled with a soft gasp, clutching the silky red intimates in front of her chest like a shield. To her utter horror, the very person of her rather vivid imagination was standing just inside the room, his eyebrow raised in question and his lips doing their best to keep the amusement off his face and failing dramatically.

"I don't think those will keep you very warm today," he told her, laughter evident in his voice.

Mako thought that if it was possible to die of sheer embarrassment alone she would already be on her way. "I – I was just looking for some – clothes," she finally managed to stutter out.

Takeru's other eyebrow rose. "And those," he nodded to the item she was still clutching to her chest, "seemed like the best choice?"

Mako didn't think it was possible to turn any redder…it turned out she was wrong.

Takeru laughed not unkindly, and let her off the hook. He turned to a larger dresser against the wall, one she hadn't noticed upon her entrance and opened a couple of drawers. "I think what you're looking for might be in one of these."

"Thank you," Mako's voice was quiet in embarrassment, her face now hiding behind her hair.

Takeru simply nodded. "I'll give you some privacy. You can find me in the kitchen when you're ready."

Mako nodded jerkily. She waited until she heard the door click softly behind him before she all but melted into the floorboards. "Why?" She groaned. "Why did he have to come in _then?_" She stole a last glance at the soft garment in front of her before shoving it with more force than was necessary to the bottom of the drawer it had come from and hurriedly shut the entire thing with an audible snap.

She stumbled to her feet and quickly investigated the open dresser's content. She found clean, simple undergarments, a soft pair of pants and a cozy white sweater to shrug into. Jerkily she tore off her sleepwear and into her outfit. After some more digging she found a pair of warm socks to slip her feet in to. With a sigh of comfort she wiggled her toes in them for a moment, gathering her courage before poking her head out the door. Seeing that the coast was clear she located the nearest bathroom and set to her morning routine, not emerging until she was sure that her pink cheeks were from a through scrubbing and not embarrassment. It was with a deep breath to steady herself that she dared to venture in search of the kitchen, ready to locate her-husband-she-couldn't-remember.

After a few wrong turns she finally managed to locate the kitchen and to her intense relief, Takeru simply handed her a mug of invitingly warm tea without a word of the earlier events.

Mako accepted the cup with grace and slid into the chair across from him, her eyes flitting to the window to look outside as she took in her first sip of the hot liquid. She felt warmth travel down to her toes, warming her from the inside out as she watched fat snowflakes dance outside in the street. She noted that there was already several inches on the ground.

"How long has it been snowing?" she asked to break the silence.

Takeru, who had been watching her, let his eyes drift outside for a moment. "Sometime in the night," he informed her. "The news said that it would continue all day and tonight as well. They're not sure exactly how much we're supposed to get but to be careful if we venture out in it."

Mako nodded vaguely, hearing him but her thoughts had already begun to drift like the snow outside. She rested her chin in her hand, thinking. "I can't believe I slept so long," she murmured quietly, more to herself than anything.

Takeru's gaze on her was steady. "After not being able to sleep for so long, it's a good thing," he assured her.

Mako nodded before taking another sip of the warming liquid. Her eyebrows knitted together. "I think I remember falling asleep in one room but somehow I awoke in another."

"You wandered in sometime during the night," he told her quietly. It was Mako's turn to look at him. He looked down at the bits of tea leaves swirling in his own cup as he answered, his cheeks tinting slightly. "I woke up and found you sleeping next to me." He opted out of telling her that they had been embracing like old lovers in their sleep, unsure how to broach _that_ particular subject with her just yet.

Mako's brows rose in surprise. "I slept with you?" She watched in fascination as Takeru's face colored and she realized exactly what she had just said. She successfully managed to hide her smile at his embarrassment from her words; she suddenly found his embarrassment incredibly endearing and felt an insuppressible desire to tease him further.

To cover his chagrin he took a sip of tea to stop from having to answer her question.

"Do you miss being intimate with me?"

Takeru choked on his tea, coughing madly.

As Mako waited for him to catch his breath she realized that what had originally been a teasing comment held a burning curiosity for her as well. She waited patiently, taking a sip of her own tea as she watched him attempt to gather his wits.

Takeru took a deep breath before answering, meeting Mako's eyes with his own and answering her as honestly as he could for now. "I'm just glad you're alive," he told her softly. "That you're here with me now, like this."

Mako felt a thrill go through her at his answer but the thought still nagged at her. "You really don't miss it?" she pressed.

Takeru's face was flushed when he answered even quieter than before. "A bit."

"Wow," Mako answered, teasing. "I didn't know I was so bad in bed." She grinned when Takeru choked on his tea again. She laughed to let him know she was kidding when he started to stutter as he tried to answer her. She gave him a moment to compose himself and she rested her head on her fist, studying him. "You hold back a lot with me right now, don't you?" Her tone wasn't accusing, simply questioning.

Takeru didn't meet her inquiring gaze, choosing to keep his silence on the matter for now.

"Just act normally around me," she encouraged softly. "Like you used to."

Takeru fingered his cup, firmly keeping his gaze fixed on its depths, but his lips quirked up slightly in wry amusement. "If I didn't hold back, I'd scare you away."

"I don't scare that easily."

Takeru finally looked up to see her watching him with a gentle smile. He flushed and looked away. Mako turned her gaze back out the window, her brows creased slightly. When Takeru looked up again he caught her expression. "What is it?"

"Are you sure it's just a little snow?" Her question was casual but her tone had an edge to it.

Takeru looked out the window and blinked in surprise. It was quickly becoming a whiteout beyond the windowpane. With a slight frown of his own he moved to turn on the news in the other room. Mako stayed where she was, watching the giant flakes fall thicker and faster. She heard the television turn on and urgent voices fill the room, but she was too distracted by what she saw to listen intently. Her eyes sought out Takeru when he re-entered the room, his expression tense.

"Snow storm?"

He nodded. "Blizzard. It's worse than they expected. We'll probably be snowed-in."

"For how long?"

Takeru shook his head. "At least through tomorrow. Possibly the next day. They're warning everyone to stay off the roads and not to venture outside unless it's an emergency."

Mako nodded, stretching out her legs beneath the table. "Are there enough supplies in the house?"

"Hmm?" Takeru broke out of his distracted thoughts. "Oh, yes. We'll be fine."

"Then what has you so worried?" Mako took a sip of her tea, noting absent-mindedly that it was beginning to cool.

Takeru looked at her in surprise; he hadn't expected her to read him so well. Then again, she always had been able to before, he didn't know why he had expected that to change now. In fact, he was privately glad that it hadn't. He paused, unsure on how to phrase what was on his mind. "It's just that…we'll be stuck here together."

"Okay." Mako wasn't sure exactly what he was getting at.

"Alone."

"Oh." Understanding dawned on Mako and she shrugged. "Okay."

"Okay?"

She tilted her head to the side, thinking. "There isn't much point in worrying about it."

"Are you sure you'll be okay with that?" He glanced outside. "Maybe I can take you to Kotoha's before it gets worse."

"No," Mako's voice came out sharper than she expected and Takeru looked at her in surprise. She closed her eyes tightly to rein in the emotions that had come with the thought of Takeru battling his way through Mother Nature's fury. "I'll be fine," she assured him in a softer voice. "I promise." When he didn't look convinced she continued. "I don't want you out in that storm, Takeru. I'm comfortable here."

He felt a thrill go through him and he stared at her, a small, fragile smile on his face.

"What?" she asked, suddenly nervous.

"That's the first time you've called me by name since…" he trailed off.

Mako flushed. "Really?"

He nodded, feeling the small smile fighting its way across his features. Tentatively she smiled back, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as Takeru sat back at the table across from her, a companionable silence filling the room.

* * *

The day passed by quietly, or it would have if it hadn't been for the increasing howl of the wind outside the house. Anytime either of them were near a window, Mako and Takeru would glance outside, watching nature's fury rage. They didn't comment on it, there wasn't much they could do about it, but it made them a little anxious all the same.

Kotoha called at one point, out of concern. Takeru had done his best to reassure her that they were okay. He eventually handed the phone over to Mako in hopes that Mako would have a better time at convincing her. After hearing both of them, it seemed to settle her down. They both cracked a smile at hearing Chiaki's exasperated, "I _told_ you they'd be fine" coming down the line.

After that, dinner was a quiet affair. Takeru cooked. Mako resigned herself to making the salad. Neither said that they wanted to truly test her cooking skills without Genta watching over her strictly just yet, not until she remembered _how_ to cook on her own again.

Takeru insisted that she go take her shower while he cleaned up when they had finished eating. Reluctantly Mako had left him at it and located the bathroom once more. She was sure to take sleepwear into the room with her that wouldn't embarrass her, unlike earlier that morning. She chose a pair of sensible sleeping pants and an overlarge shirt…just to be safe.

She didn't think about how to turn the shower on, she just did it, finding that her body seemed to understand more than her mind right now, and let her body take control with locating the shampoo as her mind wandered.

Once she had fully awakened that morning, she had remembered drifting into the guest bedroom where Takeru had been sleeping. She remembered him awakening first and she especially remembered him holding her for a long while, leaving a kiss on her forehead before he quietly slipped out – not that she had told _him_ that, not yet anyway. Her fingertips traced the spot, feeling the ghost of his lips pressed there, warmer than the water that was now surrounding her.

She sighed deeply as she tilted her head back into the spray, letting its warmth surge through her from head to toe. The heat of the water felt like a comforting embrace after hearing about nothing but the blizzard all day. Her smile was bittersweet as she thought about how the water felt cold in comparison to the embrace she'd awoken to.

Mako sighed again, motionless in the water, letting it run over her as she stood there lost in thought. Ideas and desires raced through her veins one after another, her heart racing as one would be rejected and swiftly replaced with another. Her thoughts circled round and round until they all but made her dizzy. Finally, she decided on one. _A good place to start, if only I can convince him of that…_ With a determined stance she turned the water off, dried off, and changed into her pajamas. She padded to her room, drying her hair off with the towel as she went and sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed to wait as she squeezed the excess water from her hair. She didn't have to wait long. All too soon there was a soft knock on the door.

"Mako?" Takeru's voice called from beyond it.

She couldn't help but smile at his chivalry, trying to protect her modesty when by the very look of those silken and lacy intimates he had probably seen all of her already. She suppressed a heated shiver that went up her spine at the thought. "You can come in. I'm decent," she assured him, her cheeks tinged slightly from her current thoughts and desperately hoping he would think it was just heat lingering from her shower

With a slight flush to his own cheeks Takeru entered the room. "I just wanted to get some clothes," he said in apology for intruding.

Mako shook her head. "It's your room, you can come in whenever you'd like you know."

Takeru rooted in a drawer for his clothes, shaking his head as he spoke. "I want to give you your privacy Mako. I know this isn't easy for you."

"It's not easy for you either." Mako's voice was so soft he almost didn't hear it over the howl of the wind beyond the window. His hand stilled in the drawer, his body tensed slightly, focused on her voice. "I can't imagine what it's like to have shared so much with someone, to start an entirely new life with them, and to suddenly be cut off from it without warning. It must be so hard…"

"It's alright, Mako," Takeru's voice was gentle, understanding. "I'll be alright," he finished as he pulled out the clothes he had been looking for and silently shut the drawer. After making sure he had a strong grip on his emotions he finally turned to her. Mako's face was intent. "Really," he tried to assure her with a smile, wondering if it looked as forced as it felt. He looked away first, moving to quickly leave the room before his grip slipped any further. He stopped when cool fingers grasped his wrist and tugged him back. Takeru couldn't hide his surprise as his eyes traced those smooth fingers to the wrist they were attached to, up her arm, and finally to Mako herself.

Mako had lunged for his arm without any conscious thought, surprising herself in the process. She blinked at her hand, wondering at her reaction.

It had been the look in his eyes. Pain and a gentleness too that had stopped her heart for a moment.

The decision she had made when bathing came back at her and she looked at her fingers encircling his wrist with renewed determination. She brought her eyes up to meet Takeru's, her chin set stubbornly even as her heart beat so fast in her chest she thought it would burst. "I want you to sleep here tonight." She felt the heat creeping up her neck as he stared down at her, uncomprehending. "In this room. With me," she clarified. "Together."


	7. Ignite the Flame

**Author's Note: **Listened to a lot of Beethoven's first movement of _Moonlight Sonata_ while writing this... Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. Enjoy! :)

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Six: Ignite the Flame _

Takeru stared at her in wonder for a moment before better sense caught up with him. He shook his head. "Mako, I don't want you to feel any more uncomfortable than you already do being stuck here with me."

"Stop that." Takeru was taken aback by her sharp tone. "Stop making it sound like a prison sentence to be sharing this house with you."

"Mako," he tried to be gentle. "I appreciate that you're trying to make this easier for me, but you're still healing –" He cut himself off at her glare.

"I'm healing because of you too you know," she stated with slight irritation. "You and I both know that I was having trouble sleeping until you sat on that couch next to me at Ryunosuke's. Don't try to deny it," she cut in when he opened his mouth to negate the idea. Wisely, he clamped his mouth shut. "And despite Kotoha and even Chiaki's best efforts, I wasn't getting much sleep at their place either. It wasn't until I came here..." Her eyes fell to her hand, still connected to his wrist. "And even then I know that I only slept for a few hours on my own until I woke up and found you." Her voice had gone soft again. "It wasn't until I found you last night that I finally began to feel at peace somewhere inside. I can't describe it…it's just that something in me just – it calls out to you somehow and –"

Mako was suddenly engulfed in a hug, the hand still clutching his wrist caught between them. Takeru's other arm was wrapped around her tightly.

"Please, Takeru," she entreated, her heart pounding in her chest. "Stay here with me."

"Okay," he finally agreed, holding her close, wishing he could do more but knowing he'd scare her away if he moved too fast. He wasn't entirely sure how wise the decision to hug her, much less share the bed with her was, but he always _had_ lost control of his cooler logic when she had asked anything in _that_ tone before. "If you're sure."

Mako nodded against his shoulder, amazed at how warm his hold was. Had she forgotten what it felt like from this morning so soon? Or was it different somehow? She looked up at his face when he released her, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I'm going to shower. You go ahead and get settled in."

Mako watched him carefully for a moment. "If you try and sleep somewhere else tonight, I'll find you," she warned.

Takeru's smile grew. "I understand." He bent down to kiss her gently at her temple. "I'll be back when I finish."

Mako nodded as he left the room. Only when the door shut quietly behind him did she collapse back onto the bed, her arm covering her eyes.

"You can do this," she schooled herself in a tone that wouldn't carry. "It's going to be fine. Probably a little awkward, but you're going to be fine. You did just fine last night, better than fine actually." She moved her arm off her face and moved it to lie just above her head on the bed. _You know this is what you both need. Nothing will move forward if you don't make the first move, because he's certainly not going to. _She felt warmth spread through her at the thought. _He's too considerate for that._ She smiled gently before locating a comb in the room and running it through her still slightly damp hair, focusing all of her attention on working through the tangles to distract her imagination from where it wanted to wander…to exactly where Takeru was.

Mako was already under the covers, laying on her side and listening to the storm outside when Takeru quietly re-entered the room. She glanced over shyly, her face flushing as she noted his own damp hair before she met his eyes. She made sure to give him an encouraging smile before snuggling down under the covers, ducking her head beneath the sheets, her eyes squeezed shut as she waited with bated breath.

It seemed like every nerve was thrumming with awareness as she felt the covers shift ever so gently after some rustle of movement in the room, and the weight of another settled in the empty space next to her. Mako wasn't sure if she was relieved or worried that it still seemed that there was an entire universe of space between them in the bed; both were taking up as little room as possible at opposite ends.

Mako slid the covers slowly down her face to stare into the darkness of the room. The only light now came from what reflected off the snow-enshrouded world outside the window. She heard a quiet sigh and wondered what it meant. _Good? Bad? Does he not want to be here? Or was it a happy-to-be-in-my-own-bed-again sigh?_ She fretted over her thoughts, her mind racing too fast for sleep as she listened intently for any sign from the person lying only a couple of feet away from her.

A sudden extremely forceful gust of wind pounded on the window and Mako started.

She felt Takeru shift under the covers, rolling to face her now instead of the wall. "Are you okay?" His voice was quiet.

Mako nodded. "Just startled me a little is all."

"Don't worry about the snow, it'll stop eventually."

Mako's eyes strained to see the outside world from her vantage point. "Do you think we'll get buried?" She felt the bed bounce slightly as he chuckled.

"We'll probably have to shovel for a couple of hours once it stops, but after that we should be fine. It's not going to snow _that_ much."

Mako felt a smile grace her lips and she rolled over to face him, happy to see a small smile of his own as he watched her.

Hesitantly he reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. His soft touch sent a shiver down her spine. He paused. "Are you cold?"

Mako watched him cautiously, wondering how he would respond. "A little," she admitted.

"Would you like me to get you another blanket?"

Mako tried not to frown – that wasn't exactly the response she'd been hoping for. She shook her head. "I'll be fine." Steady eyes watched her own.

Uncertainty warred with desire but eventually Takeru's hand rose in offering. He didn't say a word, but Mako knew what he was asking without a sound. Timidly she placed her cool fingers in his warm ones and half-scooted, half let herself be pulled closer until they met somewhere in the middle.

It was the first time either had deliberately reached out for the other – both hearts were racing with almost overwhelming nervous anticipation.

Now only inches apart, Mako looked up into Takeru's eyes, knowing once more that while he had finally made the initial move, the rest was for her to decide. She smiled warmly at the thought and Takeru felt a jolt go through him to see the familiar smile back on her face after so long. With only the slightest of hesitations, Mako maneuvered closer until she was right next to Takeru's warm body, hers automatically reaching out for his heat and relaxing in its presence.

With a contented sigh she let her eyes flutter close. Her smile grew when, after a few moments of uncertainty, Takeru finally wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Lying there in his arms, listening to his heartbeat close to her ear, Mako felt like she was going to start crying for some inexplicable reason. But somehow she knew she had _missed_ this – missed it with a fierce ache that had lodged itself somewhere in her chest.

Surprising both Takeru and herself she let an arm wrap around him and hold him back, burying her face in his chest as she did so.

Takeru looked down at her, hardly daring to breathe lest he find out that this was nothing more than a dream. With a gentle, tender smile he kissed the top of her head, right on the spot where her car window had shattered her memories. She flinched in response to the touch but when he made to loosen his hold on her she held on tighter, her limbs beginning to tremble.

Takeru strengthened his hold on her with one arm, letting the other drift through her hair to try and calm her down. "It's alright," he soothed, continuing the motion until her trembling subsided and her breathing evened out again. Eventually it deepened and she relaxed fully against him. Only then did Takeru allow his ministrations to subside, wrapping her close in his embrace before he let himself drift off too.

* * *

When Mako awoke, it was to the continued howl of the wind outside. She peeked her face out from the warmth of Takeru's chest and shivered violently.

Takeru was awake instantaneously. "What is it?"

"It's freezing," she murmured.

Takeru frowned. His gaze wandered to the muted gray of the light coming in from outside before his eyes wandered to the digital clock at their bedside. He blinked at it several times before pushing himself up and staring at it and letting out a deep sigh.

Mako, who had all but buried herself under the covers at the sudden loss of his warmth, studied him. "What is it?"

He looked at her warily. "The power's out."

Mako shot up in the bed, her eyes seeing what Takeru's had – the digital clock's numerals were blank. She realized with a start that the only sounds filling the house were those that Mother Nature created beyond the walls. She yanked the covers up around her shoulders at the chill. "No power means no heater."

Takeru ran his hand through his hair. "Good thing you talked me into getting a working fireplace."

"I did?"

Takeru looked at her with a nod. "You insisted, saying it would be cozy – like something out of some romance movie you and Kotoha had watched before."

Mako's eyebrow quirked up at that. It certainly sounded like her. "Do we have wood for it?"

Again, Takeru nodded. "We'd had plans before the…" He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Accident," she supplied. "It's okay, you can say it."

"Accident," he continued. "So we had stocked up on a bit."

"Well," Mako said to fill in the suddenly heavy silence. "I guess that worked out for the best after all then."

Takeru stared at her for a moment in incredulity before shaking his head with a smile of amused disbelief. "If you say so."

Mako smiled before studying him for a moment. "Aren't you cold?"

He shrugged. "A little."

"Then why aren't you huddled under the covers like me?"

His smile grew. "Because we can't spend all day in bed," he teased.

"Sure we can. Haven't you heard? It's a blizzard out there. We can't go anywhere anyways."

Takeru let out a short laugh, much to Mako's delight. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "If I don't get that fire started, it's only going to get colder."

Mako sighed in mock-dejection. "Logic… Fine, you win this one."

Takeru's smile grew as he climbed out of the bed, hurriedly rifling through a drawer before pulling on a thick sweater and exiting the room, rubbing his arms as he went.

Mako sat in the middle of the bed, still slightly warm under the blankets but getting colder as the source of her heat drew further and further away down the hall. With a deep sigh she steeled herself for the cold as she flung the covers aside. With a gasp as the chill raced through her, Mako scrambled to the dresser herself and began pulling out warm clothes.

The hallway was shadowy, even in the day, as she made her way to the bathroom. In the mostly-dark room she felt her way through her morning routine, glad that she had started to learn to trust her instincts and body movements more – they were certainly coming in handy now!

With a shiver she followed Takeru's steps out to the living room and pulled a blanket over her head as she watched him set the fire to burn. When at last its bright flame burst forth she moved off her spot on the couch and settled next to him on the ground in front of the radiating heat. Automatically she opened the blanket to engulf Takeru inside it as she scooted closer to him, her hands reaching out towards the crackling wood.

Takeru watched her with a smile. "Better?"

"Mmmm," Mako commented in bliss.

He chuckled before standing. She watched his movements, unsure, until he kissed her gently on the top of her head. "I'm going to change. I'll be back in just a minute." Mako nodded, her attention turning back to the bright glow of the fire.

After a moment's quiet contemplation, she stood and entered the kitchen. Locating the items she was searching for she wandered back to the living room and set up.

By the time Takeru returned, Mako had a cup of hot tea waiting for him. Her own was cradled in her hands. He settled on the floor next to her once more and smiled his thanks when she handed him his own porcelain cup.

His gaze lingered on her hand for a moment before he accepted the inviting liquid.

"What is it?" Mako asked, curious.

Takeru shook his head. "Nothing."

Mako's eyebrow rose. "Really?" Disbelief was evident in her voice. He was quiet for so long, Mako was sure he wasn't going to answer.

"Do you remember us getting married?" His tone was cautious, not wanting to upset her.

Mako felt a wave of sadness engulf her for a moment but she shook it off determinedly. "No," her voice just as quiet. "I can't even remember the day we met."

There was a perceptible pause. "But you still wear the wedding ring I gave you."

Mako started, her eyes automatically going to the band on her ring finger. "Yes," her answer was soft.

"Why?" His gave was inquiring but not forceful.

"It felt weird when I took it off," she admitted. She caught his look. "I only did it once," she insisted with a force that left Takeru slightly taken aback. "I – I didn't know if I had the _right_ to still wear it right after the accident, after what happened." The sharp memories of Takeru's abrupt departure from her hospital room raced across her vision for a moment. "But I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I'd go to fiddle with it, sub-consciously, and I felt a jolt – like my stomach had just dropped out – and a sudden panic would go through me. I'd wonder if I had lost it somewhere, but it was still right where I left it. It drove me crazy for a little while until I finally gave up and put it back on."

Takeru wondered if she realized she was fiddling with it right now, twirling it around and around on her finger.

"Is that okay?" She looked up at him then. "Is it okay if I still wear it?" Her forehead was creased in worry.

"Of course," Takeru's answer was automatic, surprised that it felt like she was asking for his permission to keep wearing it. "It's yours."

"But – It just has so much _meaning_ behind it. It has a purpose."

Takeru leaned over and kissed her temple lightly, halting her tirade. "If you want to keep wearing it, nothing could make me happier Mako."

Mako flushed in response. "Okay," her voice was small.

Takeru took a sip of the hot liquid, letting it chase away the last of the chill as he gathered his resolve. "How's your head?"

"My head?" Mako seemed genuinely confused by the question.

Takeru gently reached out and touched the spot where her head had intimately met the car window. She shuddered under his touch and he drew back his hand instantly. "Does it still hurt?"

Mako shook her head. "No, not really." She thought about it. "Well, occasionally it can be a little tender still, but it doesn't hurt all the time anymore."

"Then why…?"

"Why do I react like that whenever you touch it?"

Takeru nodded.

"I don't know," Mako whispered into her cup.

"Do you think it has to do with what the doctor talked to us about?" Takeru asked, both of them gazing into the flames as they leaped about.

"Honestly?" Her voice soft. "I don't know."

"Do – do you think about it?" His question was hesitant, wary.

"All the time," Mako answered. She stared into the flames, her eyes watched as the tongues of the flames twisted and turned themselves into dazzlingly shapes, dancing in a pattern and rhythm all their own. "I can't remember it – _any _of it. But sometimes…sometimes I can _feel_ it." Takeru's gaze darted to Mako's immediately but she was entranced by the fire's dance. "I get snatches, sometimes, of different things – too fleeting to be called a memory I guess, but when I think about… _that_ it's like something gets wedged right into my chest. Like it's threatening to choke the breath right out of me…"

It wasn't until Takeru's thumb ran across her cheek that Mako even realized she had started crying.

She stared in fascination at the tears. "When did that happen?"

Takeru pulled her close, tucking her under his chin and holding her tightly, berating himself for bringing it up. He remembered the doctor warning him quietly in private that the trauma from it was too large for her to handle in her current state, and that they should talk about it _carefully_ only when she was ready. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I know I shouldn't have brought it up."

Mako shook her head. "It's okay," she assured him. "I'm fine. Besides, I'm not the only one who lost –" She was cut off by the sudden feel of Takeru's lips against hers. She froze in shock, her entire body tensing up. Her tears ceased instantly. Mako felt like her brain had stopped functioning momentarily, all thoughts slowly giving way to sensation, but just when she was beginning to relax the chaste kiss was over. Takeru forcibly pushed her away from him, holding her at arms' length, his teeth gritted like he was in pain.

"I'm sorry," he managed to get out before standing abruptly and making a hasty exit.

Mako sat there in shock for a few long moments, seemingly frozen in motion, her hand still extended to where it had begun to reach out to him. She blinked several times before bringing her partially extended hand back and up to her lips, tracing the remnant shadows as if she could still feel the burning sensation that had been created there.

When she finally managed to break free from her reverie she blinked again and looked around the room with a frown, concern and anxiety alighting her features. She stood on shaky legs and drifted through the house, trusting what she could not remember to remember for her and guide her. She paused outside their bedroom door, inhaling deeply to fortify herself before tentatively stepping inside.

Mako halted momentarily in the doorway, observing. Takeru was sitting at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, his posture tense and angry.

"Takeru?" she called softly.

"I'm sorry," he bit out between clamped teeth, the strain in his posture deepening. "I shouldn't have done that."

Mako walked in on steady, quiet feet. She kneeled down in front of him, resting her hands on his knees. "Shouldn't have done what?"

"Any of it," he insisted. "_All _of it."

Mako was quiet for a moment. "If it's about the conversation…" her eyes drifted to the side, sinking into her thoughts. "I know it's not easy, for either of us. We'll have to confront it one day…" she trailed off before her mind wandered too far down that path again, before it could try to swallow her whole. She wrenched her thoughts back to the man in front of her and focused on him determinedly. "If it's about the kiss, there's nothing to apologize for."

She managed to get Takeru to remove one hand from his face, hanging limply in his lap, but the other still covered his eyes, his jaw still locked in anger – anger at himself, she realized.

"You weren't – _aren't_ – ready for that," he ground out. "I should know better than that. You –"

"I didn't realize you had to always be ready to receive a kiss," Mako said wryly.

Takeru dragged his hand partially away, his look one that clearly read that that hadn't been what he was talking about.

Mako looked back at him steadily. "I didn't mind the kiss Takeru," she told him. "So don't you dare try to regret it." Her head tilted to the side, questioning. "I just – I want to know…why did you stop? Why did you leave?" Takeru stared back at her. "You left at the hospital too…and you didn't come back. Not until the doctor asked you to."

"Mako…" He didn't know where to start.

"I know – I know it wasn't easy. Genta told me about what happened, about the accident and the time I was in the coma," she continued. "So I understand a little. I guess I get why you left, but…why didn't you come back?" She stared up at him, imploring. "Why did you leave again just now? Why weren't you going to come back again?"

Takeru could only stare back at her, speechless. She suddenly looked so fragile, so vulnerable. "Mako – I – That's not what I –" He didn't know where to begin. He watched as she rose slowly to her feet before sitting gingerly next to him on the bed. With hands that shook just the tiniest bit she cupped his face, searching their depths with a gentle smile.

"It's okay," she assured him. Her eyes traced his face, lingering on his lips as she slowly leaned in, her eyes sliding closed as they touched once more.

Takeru stiffened at first, unsure, but he suddenly felt a part of him wrench free and his hand was in her hair, her arms sliding around his neck as his other hand twined itself around her waist to pull her closer.

Mako felt a flame leap up inside her, seeing in her mind's eye the fire that had danced in just the other room moments before with a sudden understanding of its apparent joy. It was all-consuming, this passion, this fire that raced through her veins and made her blood sing. How had she ever been able to forget _this?_ Or was it _because_ of its long absence that the feeling was intensified? She gave up trying to think about it as she lost herself in the sensation.

Too soon for her liking, the kiss ended; the need for air too great. They leaned against each other's foreheads, trying to garner more oxygen in their lungs. Mako looked at Takeru, feeling that the extra air was only fueling the flame inside her – stoking it like a swift breeze to hot coals that had been left to simmer in the background, awaiting only a fresh ignition to light the fire high once more.

"Mako," Takeru breathed, meeting her eyes in wonder and barely constrained desire. She knew his body wanted more, she could feel it echoed in her own just as strongly. But both had a firm grip on their intensity, unsure if it was okay to travel too far down the path too fast.

If Mako was being honest with herself, she was completely torn between throwing all caution to the wind and giving in to her desire and her need to maintain control – some order of semblance in her now still largely chaotic life. The war between what she was sure would embrace her completely and begin to fill in that gaping void inside her fought viciously against the part of her that was terrified of the unknown, of what she couldn't remember, of what she had lost and had yet to regain. Her uncertainty won out and she sighed internally in frustration and regret, but she kept a firm grip on the ground she had gained.

She kissed Takeru once more, chastely but firmly as if to seal the promise to both him and herself in her determination.

"Takeru," she whispered in his ear as she held him tightly, a small voice in the back of her mind wondering when she had ended up in his lap, but with a small, happy smile, she realized that she really didn't care as Takeru's arms tightened around her, holding her for all the world as if he'd never let her go again. "Thank you."


	8. The Fine Line between Dreams and Reality

**Author's Note: **Haven't updated this one in a little bit; figured it was time. ;D Enjoy! Constructive Criticism is always welcomed.

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Seven: The Fine Line between Dreams and Reality_

Takeru awoke feeling warmer and more relaxed than he had expected to.

He and Mako had decided to sleep in the living room with the dying fire to try and maintain some warmth throughout the night as the power remained firmly off due to the blizzard. The warmth he felt was not coming from the fireplace however– the embers having long gone cold, but from the petite figure snuggled close to his side under the thick blankets.

Takeru's smile was gentle, if not slightly exasperated, as he looked down at his wife's dozing face in his arms.

Last night he had insisted that she sleep on the couch as he prepared a spot for himself on the floor. He had eventually drifted off to sleep, knowing she was within arms' reach if not exactly in his arms – something he was startled to realize how much he was missing after finally being able to do so again after so long.

When he kissed the top of her head tenderly she made a quiet noise in her sleep and tried to move closer. He didn't bother to try and hide his smile.

Takeru had insisted she take the more comfortable couch so that she would sleep well, and it had taken a good deal of convincing to get her to do so. She had mumbled and grumbled to herself as she settled in. She must have slid off the couch and settled in next to him sometime during the night. He should have known that her stubbornness would win out in this one, that she had only bided her time until he was asleep before she made her move.

He chuckled quietly. He probably would have done the exact same thing had he been in her position. He knew her willfulness was on equal par with his own.

Mako awoke to his soft laughter, giving a small moan of protest. "What time is it?" she asked through a yawn.

"Why aren't you sleeping on the couch?" Takeru countered. He smiled when she flushed in answer.

"Once the heat finally died, I knew we were going to get cold," she hedged.

Takeru's smile grew more pronounced. "Really? Is that all?"

Mako playfully stuck her tongue out at him in response before ducking her head beneath the blankets. Takeru laughed, dragging the blankets away from her face to see her smiling. His heart skipped a beat when he recognized that smile and he kissed her quickly on the cheek before pulling her close to him, smiles still lighting up both their faces.

"I dreamt about you," she whispered shyly.

Takeru looked down at her, her hands folded gently over his heart as she continued.

"It was a good dream," she smiled softly, feeling his heartbeat beneath her fingertips, so strong and sure.

"You're not going to tell me what it was about?" He asked curiously.

Mako's smile grew, her eyes full of mischief. "Nope."

Takeru shook his head. "Tease."

Mako laughed and Takeru was struck suddenly by how much he had missed her laughter, at the way it seemed to strike at something vital inside him and fill him with a sense of content that suffused him from head to toe. He kissed her suddenly, breaking into her laughter, but feeling the warmth from it lingering on her lips. It was a chaste kiss, one that ended almost as soon as it had begun.

Mako looked at him in surprise, not sure if it was because he had initiated it or because he had ended it so suddenly, leaving her craving more.

She slowly slid her hands up to cradle his face, her eyes skimming over his face as he watched her steadily. She pulled him closer even as she moved towards him until their lips were touching once more and felt it – that rush like fire in her veins. She grinned into the kiss when she felt Takeru's control slip as he deepened the kiss.

Being this close to him was intoxicating. She found herself craving more and more with every touch, every whisper, every kiss and she didn't know anymore how far was too far or how much was too much because it felt like it would never be enough. She also knew that it was the same for Takeru. She could feel it in the way his hands held her gently but firmly, as if he'd never let her go, and in the way his kisses became stronger, more fervent with each meeting.

She felt Takeru roll with her until she was lying atop him, her hair spilling around them in a curtain as his hands found the edge of her shirt and slid under, caressing the skin underneath. When his fingers skimmed up her sides, Mako gasped into their kiss, all of her nerves seeming to come alive at once.

Takeru's hands stilled instantly, but this time he didn't let go. He slid his hands down to her hips and held her steady before gently breaking off the kiss. Mako was in too much of a contented haze to argue at the moment. She smiled down at him, feeling like stars were in her eyes as she let herself rememorize his features.

She sighed contently, knowing she wanted more, but felt like some of the pressure building up had been let off a little. "I could get used to waking up like that," she smiled before kissing him softly.

Takeru ran his fingers through her hair as he watched her, more than thrilled that she was happy but keeping a firm grip on himself. "You have to be careful," he warned. "I won't be able to stop myself for much longer if you keep pulling stunts like that."

Mako's grin grew. "Duly noted," she assured him before letting out a quick laugh, one that Takeru felt travel through him. "And here I was wondering if _I_ was taking advantage of _you_."

"You are," Takeru teased, making sure she saw the laughter in his eyes to know he was joking. "Though I think taking advantage of your husband is allowed in some aspects of your marriage; you won't hear me complaining about it." He paused, studying her quietly for a moment. "So long as you're _ready_ for it," he emphasized. "I mean it Mako; I don't want to push you any farther than you're ready for. I don't want to hurt you."

Mako's eyes gentled, her smile bittersweet. "I know," she answered softly. "And I thank you for that." She kissed him again tenderly before resting her head above his heart. "I just feel like being around you makes me lose control sometimes," she admitted.

Takeru burst out laughing and Mako's smile grew infinitely bigger. "I could say the same about you," he insisted before sighing deeply. "We might be in some trouble then."

Mako listened to his steady heartbeat beneath her ear. "I wouldn't mind," she whispered quietly, her face flushing lightly. She wasn't sure he had even heard her until his arms wrapped around her tightly and held her for several quiet moments. She snuggled into his embrace, hearing only his heart's comforting rhythm surrounding her until something tugged at her. She sat up and looked around cautiously.

Takeru, who had begun to drift with her warm body on top of his, awakened hazily. "What is it?"

Mako sat up higher. "It's quiet." When Takeru gave her a confused look she elaborated. "I think the wind stopped."

Takeru's hearing pricked at her words and he sat up too, still holding her in his embrace so that she was now sitting in his lap. "You're right."

"Do you think the storm finally blew itself out?"

"Only one way to find out."

The pair rose to their feet. Mako wrapped her arms around herself, trying to suppress the shivers from the sudden cold of being away from Takeru's body heat. They shuffled into the kitchen and looked out the window.

It was true, the snow and wind had stopped, the clouds now a light, softer gray in comparison to the heavy, dark clouds that had stoppered out all light and warmth. The snow piled up outside looked like it would easily reach Mako's knees, turning everything outside into a land of pure white crystals. The stillness and quiet after the storm's rage left almost an echoing silence behind.

"You were right," Mako said into the quiet.

"About what?"

"We didn't get buried alive, but we'll certainly be shoveling for a while." Mako was exhausted before they'd even begun and Takeru laughed at her tone, encircling her from behind with his arms.

"Don't worry; we can always call in the cavalry."

"You think they'll come?"

Takeru felt a wave of comfort go through him when Mako knew who he was talking about without having to automatically ask. "Considering they all live in apartments without fireplaces, and their power is almost guaranteed to be out too?" Takeru pretended to ponder the question. "There's a good chance."

Mako's smile widened. "So what's the plan?"

Takeru grinned back. "I'll start the fire again if you make the phone calls."

Mako paused. "What about the roads? Will they be cleared yet? Is it safe for them to drive?"

Takeru waved her worries aside. "They'll have started getting to work on the roads as soon as the snow first stopped and we'll just tell everyone to take it slow – there's no rush." He kissed her on the temple before heading back into the living room where the fireplace was. "We'd better make some room in here while we're at it." He called back over his shoulder.

"Why's that?" Mako asked in genuine curiosity.

"Because until the heat comes back on, you can be sure no one's leaving once they get here."

Mako laughed in answer as she reached for the phone to make her first call.

* * *

By the time everyone had arrived, the snow plows had made it through the roads, clearing aside the paths so that people could reach their destinations in relative safety – even if it did make more work at the end of people's driveways from the pile up of the wet, heavy stuff that settled there.

The sun too had begun to make its appearance, filtering weakly through the clouds at odd intervals.

Kotoha and Chiaki had been the first to arrive, overnight bags in tow as they struggled their way up to Takeru and Mako's house.

Mako and Kotoha embraced the moment they met on the porch, Kotoha all but giddy with excitement.

Chiaki was scowling at all the snow. "You couldn't have at least _tried_ to clear some of the snow away before we got here?"

"Where would have been the fun in that?" Mako grinned.

Chiaki blinked at her, taken aback by her quick response. Kotoha was unable to suppress her giggles and Chiaki turned to his fiancée with a raised brow. "Is that a challenge I hear, Kotoha?"

Kotoha's giggles ceased instantly. "No! Chiaki! _Don't!_" She shrieked in surprise and laughter when Chiaki firmly grasped her around the waist and yanked her off her feet. He made as if to throw her off the front porch and into the snow, but her wild struggling threw him off-balance and suddenly the couple was all but buried in the white powder together.

Kotoha gasped as the cold, frozen water seeped in through her clothes and made icy trails down the back of her neck. "_Chiaki!_" She sputtered in shock.

Chiaki spit snow out of his mouth. "What? If you hadn't knocked me off-balance I –" He was cut off by a fat snowball to his face, his mouth frozen in surprise for a moment before with a growl he scooped up some snow himself and lodged it at his fiancée.

Mako was trying to stifle laughter behind her hands when she caught Takeru's eye. "Don't you even dare." When his smile only grew, she began to back away slowly. "Takeru," she warned.

In one swift movement he scooped her up into her arms and Mako let out a cry of surprise. Before she could protest she felt herself momentarily airborne before landing flat on her behind in the a huge snow drift. He had dumped her right off the side of the porch. She gasped from the sudden chill, her eyes flashing to see Takeru's mischievous eyes watching her back. "That's it," she growled. Before he could blink, Mako had found enough purchase in the ground to stand and grabbed his wrist, yanking hard.

The move caught Takeru by surprise and before he knew it he was falling face first into the snow beside her. He finally managed to unbury his head to look up and find Kotoha and Chiaki all but doubled over in laughter in the snow, Chiaki was laughing so hard he was nearly crying. Takeru glared playfully at his wife who stuck her tongue out in response.

"That's what you get," she told him.

All four turned at the sound of clapping.

"Well done," Genta was applauding. "I give that fall an eight for style Take-chan, but a ten in execution Mako. Nicely done." He stood at the edge of the sidewalk with his usual grin. "How come you guys started the fun without me?"

"You're welcome to join us," Kotoha called.

"Thanks, but I'll pass this time," he answered. "Your lips are all turning blue already as it is." He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Don't you crazy people know how to at least dress for the weather?"

Everyone looked down at their soaked jeans and sweaters.

"It wasn't exactly planned," Chiaki told him.

"Expect the unexpected," Genta quipped back, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulder.

Takeru and Mako exchanged swift glances, identical smiles on their faces before launching a swift snowball each right into the taller man's chest.

Genta's jaw dropped open in shock from the sudden cold, his eyes alighting upon the two most unlikely of culprits. "Hey!"

"Expect the unexpected," Mako grinned cheekily back.

Within moments everyone was scooping snow into their hands and throwing it for all they were worth at each other.

"What's going on?" A new voice added to the growing din of laughter and shocked gasps from cold and surprise.

As one all eyes turned to see Ryunosuke standing almost exactly where Genta had been standing before he had struggled across the snow to get closer to his targets.

Ryunosuke paused like a deer caught in the headlights. "Wha – No, no!" He tried to back away slowly, his arms stretched out in front of him in a defensive posture. All he got for his troubles were five snowballs pelting him in either the face or body, soaking him instantly. Ryunosuke stood on the edge of the sidewalk, blinking snow out of his eyelashes and spitting the cold crystals out of his mouth.

Laughter rang out from all sides.

Mako turned to Takeru, her teeth chattering with her smile. Her body was beginning to shiver more violently in an effort to keep her warm.

"Alright," Takeru called it, beginning to feel the cold himself now too. "Let's get inside and warm up."

"Mako and Kotoha look like they're going to shake apart they're shivering so much," Genta grinned.

"Y-you're shivering pretty hard y-yourself," Kotoha informed her, her lips blue. Genta just grinned even wider as they all trooped into the house, leaving their snow-filled shoes just inside the door as they dragged their bags in behind them.

Takeru headed to the fireplace to make sure the flames were roaring as everyone dispersed into various rooms to change out of their soaked and icy clothing to put on something warm. He shivered violently as the heat of the fireplace attempted to wriggle its way through the layer of cold that enshrouded him.

He felt warm arms wrap around him and the pressure of lips on his frozen cheek.

"You're going to get your clothes wet again," he told her.

Mako smiled and released her hold. "Then go change," she urged. "I can take care of the fire."

Takeru kissed her chastely in thanks before disappearing down the hall.

Mako wondered at how frozen lips could still feel so much like a burning heat as she sat in front of the flames, her hair dripping onto the mantle.

As everyone filtered back into the room, they automatically placed themselves as close to the fireplace as they could get, their hands stretched out towards the heat it radiated.

"Blessed warmth," Ryunosuke looked at the fire like he was going to cry from happiness.

"I feel like I haven't been properly warm in days," Genta echoed.

"It hasn't been _that_ bad," Chiaki countered his arms around Kotoha as she huddled in one of the blankets from off the couch, her lips still blue.

"Speak for yourself," Genta retorted. "_We_ don't have a lovely lady to keep us warm at night."

Kotoha's face went from blue to red in seconds.

Takeru chose that moment to re-enter the room and handed Mako a towel for her hair as he settled down next to her on the floor.

Genta watched the two conspicuously. "Looks like Take-chan doesn't have room to complain either."

Mako felt her face flushing as Takeru looked at his friend in confusion, his arm automatically reaching out to wrap itself around Mako's waist without a thought, pulling her closer to keep them both warm.

"What are you talking about?"

"Exactly," Genta nodded as if all his suspicions had been confirmed.

Takeru, now thoroughly confused, looked to Mako for explanation but she determinedly avoided his gaze, her cheeks red as she wrung her hair out with the towel.

Chiaki just hugged Kotoha closer to him with a cheeky smile. "When you're right, you're right guys."

"Rub it in," Ryunosuke muttered. "Rub it in."

Mako felt a swift smile alight her face at his words. When Takeru shot her another puzzled look she simply smiled softly at him before laying her head on his shoulder, sharing in his warmth for a moment.

She looked over to see Kotoha still buried under the blanket and gently disentangled herself from Takeru's arms. "I'm going to get the tea kettle," she told him when he looked at her in question before she laid a kiss on his cheek and stood up to make her way into the kitchen, dropping her towel on Takeru's head before she left.

When Takeru shifted the towel off his face to hang the cloth around his neck he was startled to realize he was the center of everyone's gaze. "What?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say everything was back to normal. Like nothing had ever happened," Genta said, though it came out more like questions than statements.

Takeru's eyes automatically lifted to the last place he had seen Mako before she disappeared around the corner. "Getting there," he hedged.

"I don't know," Chiaki started. "The way you two acted it was almost like everything's back to normal."

"Almost," Takeru mumbled, avoiding their gazes and looking into the fire.

"How are her memories?" Kotoha asked. "Any luck?"

Takeru shook his head slowly, not daring to answer as he heard the tall tale signs of rattling china as Mako made to reenter the room. He wasn't going to take the chance at upsetting her again with his inquiries. She would tell him when she was ready.

Mako moved the tea kettle to its position near the fire to warm as she set the tray carrying the cups and tea leaves down beside it. She could feel the awkward tension in the air. As she settled back in the spot she had vacated she looked up at Takeru questioningly. He gave her the tiniest shake of his head and she nodded, accepting the silence for what it was.

"Is everyone warm enough?" She asked to cover the moment. "There are plenty of blankets in the closet." She paused, looking startled for a minute before shaking her head.

"I know where they're at," Genta replied, misinterpreting her look. "Ryunosuke will help me get them, right?"

"What? Oh! Yes!" Ryunosuke scrambled to his feet after Genta and the two took off down the hall.

Chiaki eyed Kotoha who was still buried under the blanket and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, we're getting you into warmer clothing."

"I'm fine Chiaki!" Kotoha protested.

"Your lips are still blue," he argued back.

"I can dress myself," she insisted.

"I'm not taking the chance of you dropping from hypothermia when I'm not watching," he retorted as they retreated down the hall to fetch their bags from the guest room. Their banter could be heard all the way down the hallway.

Mako turned to Takeru and rose up onto her knees as she slipped the towel from Takeru's neck. Before he could ask what she was doing, Mako was rubbing down Takeru's head with the towel, trying to absorb as much of the moisture as she could.

"Mako? What –?"

"You're not about to get hypothermia either," she told him. "Your hair is still wet."

Takeru left her to her work, knowing it was useless to argue. When she finished she placed a kiss on the top of his head before settling back down next to him.

"Are you warm enough?" She asked concern evident in her tone.

Takeru pulled her close in response. "With you here, yes." He whispered in her ear as Genta and Ryunosuke made their reappearance, their arms laden with blankets.

As Takeru helped his friends spread the blankets around, Mako fixed the tea when she heard the kettle beginning to hiss, a blush still evident on her cheeks.

Chiaki and a now very bundled Kotoha made their way back into the room just as Mako was handing out the cups. Everyone accepted their mugs gratefully as they let the warmth seep into their fingers before letting the hot liquid warm them from the insides out.

As everyone settled back in, the conversations started – easy, bantering conversations about anything and everything. Mako smiled along with everyone's laughter, much more at ease than she had been at their last gathering though she couldn't exactly say why.

She supposed it had to do with the fact that some of her memories were starting to trickle back – remembering where the extra blankets were kept being the latest example. It wasn't anything dramatic or life-altering when looked at from a certain perspective, but just that simple memory alone showed that she _knew_ this place, this house. That she had spent enough time in it to know where the spare blankets were kept, ones that weren't used on a daily basis, meaning they were usually "out of sight, out of mind" for the most part. It had her almost giddy with excitement, but it wasn't _exactly_ the memories she was looking for just yet.

She was getting snatches now, remembering places, things, people, but they were too brief to peg down to a certain time, and the sheer disconnectedness of it all still had her confused most of the time. She hadn't told anyone yet, almost afraid that she'd jinx herself, or even worse, that this might be all she'd ever get back at all. Mako wasn't sure how she'd handle that, though she knew now that she wouldn't have to handle it alone.

She laid her head against Takeru's shoulder again and his arm tightened around her waist slightly in response, not breaking from the conversation he was having, as if he was doing it subconsciously, which he probably was.

All these people, these friends, obviously loved her very much. They showed how much they cared in both big and little ways, making her feel less like a stranger, even to herself, and more like part of a family. Like a long-lost relative who had finally decided to make her way home.

Mako smiled at the analogy as she watched everyone making their way through the sandwiches that had been prepared for their dinner as the laughter and conversations continued.

It was much later that evening, as she looked around at everyone's various sprawled positions around the living room in their slumber that she realized she _knew_ them, even if she still didn't exactly remember them.

Ryunosuke slumbered on his stomach from the sofa, his long legs just barely fitting along its length, one arm hanging limply off the side. Genta was sprawled out on his back, his limbs in every which direction, deep asleep and smiling, even in his dreams. Kotoha was cocooned inside Chiaki's arms closest to the fire, her head tucked underneath his chin, an arm draped around her, keeping her close.

She smiled sleepily at them all before turning her attention to the man who was fixing the fire for the night. She watched him, her eyes tracing over all of his features as they flickered in and out from the hot coals in the grate. Mako closed her eyes and was delighted to find that she could see his face as clearly behind her eyelids as she could when her eyes were open, at least in recent memory – memories of him from before the accident were still stubbornly absent.

She felt a gentle touch on her shoulder and Mako opened heavy eyes to see Takeru settling down beside her, drawing her to him as he lay down for the night. With a sleepy smile, Mako snuggled in right next to him as he drew the blankets over them both, no longer any hesitation from either of them in being close. She laid her head upon his chest, her ear just above his steady heartbeat and was asleep almost instantaneously with Takeru's arms wrapped securely around her.

Mako welcomed her dreams with open-arms. Dreams that were filled with what she imagined the happier times had been before. She knew Takeru would be in them – he was always in them, and had been since she had first seen his face in her hospital room – but tonight, Kotoha, Chiaki, Genta and Ryunosuke made their way into her dreams as well.

There was laughter, smiles, and the kind of warmth and protection you could only find when surrounded by those you held most dearly to you in the world.


	9. Thundering Pitter-Patter of Little Feet

**Author's Note: **My apologies for the delay in updating. I had written for quite a while before I realized I didn't like _any_ part of what I had written. So I had to scrap the entire thing and start over, and even then it took me a bit to figure out exactly how to _start_ it all. Hopefully the extra-long chapter makes it up to you. Just don't expect long ones like this all the time! XD Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. Enjoy! :)

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Eight: The Thundering Pitter-Patter of Little Feet_

When Mako woke it was to find that a small sound, one that was normally inconspicuous in its activation, registered in her hearing after its days of absence. Her ears strained to hear it even before her blurry eyes managed to focus in the semi-light of a new day.

She carefully extracted herself from Takeru's hold and sat up; looking around her living room to see that most everyone was still fast asleep. Only the couch was missing its former occupant.

Mako gently pushed the blankets covering her aside, bracing herself for the cold. It took a minute, as she was tucking the covers back around her sleeping husband, before she realized she was still chilly but not as cold as she had been the day before.

_Is it from all the extra body heat in the room?_

She trudged into the kitchen, covering a yawn as she went and stretching her arms above her head.

"Good morning," an alert voice greeted her the moment she set foot into the other room.

Mako blinked, startled, to find Ryunosuke standing at the kitchen counter with a mug in his hand. She could see steam wafting up from the rim of his cup and stared at it, uncomprehending.

Ryunosuke smiled. "The power is back on."

"Oh," Mako looked around, noting that the digital clocks were illuminated once more, all of them showing the correct time. "Did you set the clocks?"

Ryunosuke nodded. "And I made hot coffee. I figured that as everyone woke up they'd like a cup. Do you want one?"

"Please," Mako smiled back, eagerly accepting the hot mug into her hands and settling down at the kitchen table with a satisfied sigh, relishing in the instant warmth. "This explains the weird sound I heard when I woke up."

"Weird sound?"

Mako nodded. "The heater." She pointed to one of the vents.

"Ah," Ryunosuke smiled. "It's funny, isn't it? Those little sounds like the heater turning on, a fan spinning around, or the hum of the refrigerator are all things you don't even notice until they're suddenly gone? Or when they suddenly return?"

Mako smiled into her mug as she took a tentative sip at the hot liquid. "Mmmm," she agreed, knowing the feeling all too well. It was like memories. Things you took for granted – the little moments and the big ones that all came together to make a whole. It wasn't until you lost them that you realized how much they were a part of you – part of your everyday life and as ordinary as breathing until they vanished without a trace. And it didn't matter how hard you tried to get them back, they'd only surface if and when they were ready.

Mako paused, considering those last thoughts. _Am I ready? Am I ready to face all those memories again? _Her gaze turned to the sunlight filtering in through random breaks in the clouds, washing everything it touched into a blinding, warm light.

_I know there are so many memories I want back. So many things have happened in my life – and I _want_ to remember them all, the grand moments and the every day. They're all so important, so vital to living my life. _She rested her chin in her hands. _I know I can relearn most things like people's names, places I've gone to, the location of the extra tissue boxes in the cupboards, but you _can't_ relearn the moment you met someone, the day of your wedding, or what it was like to start a new life with someone you love… _

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Mako looked up, startled from her inner monologue.

Ryunosuke's head was titled to the side as if he was studying her. "Care to share what's on your mind? I'd like to help, if it's something I can help with."

Mako smiled. "Thank you." She took a sip of the stimulating liquid, organizing her thoughts before she spoke. "I was just wondering if I'm ready."

"Ready?"

"To remember everything," Mako elaborated. "For all my memories to come back."

"Are you afraid of remembering something?" Ryunosuke asked curiosity evident in his voice.

Mako nodded once, slowly. "I'd rather not relive the morning of the accident," she admitted.

He winced. "Yeah, I can see how that'd make you apprehensive about your memories filtering back." He sighed deeply. "If I were in your place, I'm not sure I'd want that particular memory back myself."

Mako took another long sip of her coffee.

"How do you feel otherwise?" Ryunosuke prompted.

Mako shrugged. "Fine…I think." She frowned slightly. "More than fine actually. I feel…restless, sometimes. Frustrated. Like I'm ready to take on the world and grab my life back with my own two hands, but there's a part of me that's still holding back."

"Holding you back? With what?"

Mako leaned back in her chair, stretching her legs out under the table for a moment before tucking them back underneath her chair again. "With my job, for example," she started. "I feel like I should be getting back – I _want_ to go back, but I can't even remember where 'back' is. I don't know _where_ my job is, much less my co-worker's names, or any of the student's faces… It all makes me more than a little apprehensive about taking that step forward."

Ryunosuke studied her for a long minute. "You don't have to do this alone, you know."

Mako looked at the young man before her, watching him as he had watched her.

"We're your friends Mako, and we want to help you in any way we can. We just don't know how much is too much or too little. So all you have to do is let us know, tell us how we can help and we'll do it."

Mako blushed, her gaze dropping back down to her coffee mug. "Thank you," her voice was soft. She opened her mouth to speak, paused, tried again and caught herself.

Finally she took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "I'd appreciate it if someone could come with me to the kindergarten next week." Her voice grew quiet again. "I'd really like it if someone would go with me because I don't want to go alone just yet." When she dared to look up Ryunosuke was smiling.

"I'd love to go with you Mako," he assured her. "And while I can't speak for everyone else, I'm sure they'd love to go too."

The sound of a giant yawn filled the air and Mako started to see Genta trailing into the kitchen, his eyes still half shut in sleepiness. "Where is who going?" He asked in between another great yawn.

"Mako wants to visit the kindergarten sometime next week, but would like us to come with her if it's possible," Ryunosuke informed him.

Genta was awake in an instant. "Sure!" He grinned. "That doesn't sound like a half-bad idea! I'd love to check out the place you consider your home-away-from-home."

"I said that?" Mako asked in surprise.

Genta paused. "Not those exact words really, but given half the chance you could gush about those kids for hours." He laughed in good-humor. "You always have some wild tales from them to tell." He spotted the coffee pot on the counter and looked like he was going to cry before pouring himself a cup. "Does this mean the power is back on?"

"Yes," Mako told him. "We think it came on sometime during the night, finally."

"Ready to be rid of us already?" Genta grinned, teasing.

Mako looked shocked at the very idea. "No, no, of course not!" She flushed when Ryunosuke and Genta started laughing.

"Just joking with you Mako," Genta elbowed her as he joined the duo at the kitchen table. "Don't worry. If our sleeping habits didn't scare you off before, you wouldn't have been so inclined to letting us stay in the first place. Memories or not, there are some things you can just _never_ forget!"

Mako's thoughts immediately turned to Takeru and she smiled into her mug as she took another long sip, feeling its warmth fill into every corner of her body. He would never know it, but Genta was more correct in that last statement of his than he'd ever realize.

"Alright," Genta looked at his friends sitting at the table. "With power restored I think it's past time that we all had a hot meal in our stomachs. Who wants to help me cook up some breakfast?" He grinned. "I can guarantee that it'll awaken our adorable little couple out there faster than if we dumped them in a snow drift. And it'll give me a great excuse to rib Take-chan about how much we accomplished while _he_ slept in." He rubbed his palms together eagerly, his eyes darting from Ryunosuke to Mako and back again.

Ryunosuke and Mako exchanged glances before identical smiles broke out onto their faces.

"I'm ready," Mako beamed.

* * *

As the days before visiting her students flew by, Mako and Takeru fell into a routine – one in which they were allowed to "relearn" about one another. It had started off hesitantly enough but Mako soon learned to relax and let things happen. She discovered that the less she thought, the more she remembered even if it wasn't entirely "remembering" as anyone else would.

She found that she knew where things were without having to ask any longer, her unconscious thought taking over when the mind had lost its way. She knew that Takeru was beginning to notice these subtle changes but he seemed reluctant to bring them up. Both were apprehensive to mention anything that might upset the natural balance that had begun to return to their lives.

As everything became more familiar to her – whether through subconscious memory or simply from relearning where everything actually was – Mako found an intense and pervading sense of peace and stability in her life where there had once been a raging storm of emotions and turmoil.

Her emotions too were simultaneously quieted and heightened.

She found that Takeru reached out for her more – both physically and emotionally just as she did to him. Ever since she had awoken in the hospital, Mako had felt the near-desperate need to hold and be held but had curtailed such desires in her absolute confusion and loss. Now she thrilled in the sensation of being able to simply reach out her hand and have someone there who seemed to automatically understand without a word – someone whose arms were always open to her when she needed them. And Mako felt that she needed them often enough to last several lifetimes.

But what filled her with sheer joy and adoration was that she seemed to know when Takeru needed to be sheltered in her arms as well. Times when all she needed was to see the look on his face, or the set positioning of his tense shoulders to know that he was drawing too close to his own inner storm to search for the safety of the harbor that was just within reach.

Mako finally was beginning to feel secure in herself enough to be able to anchor someone else – someone who needed the calm, strong assurance as much as she did.

Together they were healing.

What Mako felt unprepared for in some sense was what those simple touches could bring her. She knew that she and Takeru were married – had in fact been lovers for years now, but without the memories of it to fall back on Mako was startled at times with how abrupt and _intense_ those feelings could be.

A gentle caress, a searing kiss – all could instantaneously spark a burning desire inside her that left Mako gasping in shock and shivering in delight. She was constantly torn now between just giving into her longing and trying to keep a clear enough head to make a rational decision over whether or not this was _okay_, that she wasn't rushing in too hard too fast.

Her heart argued ferociously that it was ludicrous to question satisfying this yearning when she had been doing so for years – something her body was very much in agreement with. Her head, however, mutinously argued back that it should _remember_ what it was like to _be_ in love before indulging in it.

Mako wondered too that even if she finally stopped wavering, finally gave in to what it felt like her very being demanded, would Takeru even let her?

The kisses and touches had become more frequent, more urgent, and at night it was becoming exceedingly hard to just lie in each other's embrace without acting upon a higher instinct. Mako knew she wanted to touch – to _be_ touched, that the kisses before sleep were becoming hungrier, more intimate. But Takeru always made sure they halted before getting too far, leaving her slightly disorientated as she drifted in sensation.

Mako felt like her body just took over at times – as if it remembered without conscious thought and a part of her thrilled in it. It was a relief not to _have_ to remember something because her body, her nerves, the pounding of her heart remembered _for_ her.

Once Takeru would finally manage to gently break their increasingly amorous activities, he'd hold Mako to him tightly, as if reigning himself in as much as her until she drifted off to sleep – content, warm, and secure in his arms.

Her dreams too were becoming increasingly more vivid – almost scandalous in their ingenuity. Mako found that she had an extremely difficult time keeping her hands to herself the next morning when she'd awaken and find Takeru still fast asleep next to her. Memories of these intense dreams kept cropping up at the most inconvenient of times as well. All it seemed to take now was to simply look at Takeru, drift just a little, and her mind would soon fill with images that would leave her face flushed and her body warm all over.

And she wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Are you feeling okay?" Takeru's eyebrows knit together in concern as he searched her eyes, looking for signs of a fever.

Mako blinked as he laid a warm palm across her forehead and she felt her body react to his touch – feeling a jolt like electricity travel down her spine and settle somewhere deep and hot beneath her navel. Her flush increased. "I'm fine," she murmured, embarrassed at her reaction and intensely grateful that her thoughts and imagination were her own.

"We can do this on another day if you're not feeling up to it," he insisted.

Mako shook her head. "I'm ready," she said with more confidence than she felt.

"Are you sure Mako?" Kotoha's voice had Mako's head turning toward her friend as they walked along the street. "We could always call them and let them know that today's not a good day. We can try again later."

Mako shook her head. "I _want_ to go. I can't let what I _don't_ remember control my life – keep me from living." She glanced around at her friends watching her carefully in concern as they walked toward the kindergarten. "I mean it," she pressed. She took in a deep breath and let it out gustily. "I still don't remember the school, or any of the kids or staff, but _not_ going isn't going to help matters." She caught Takeru's eye. "The doctor told us to keep living just as I had before the accident, right?"

Takeru hesitated but nodded in agreement. "When you were _ready_," he emphasized.

"I'm ready," she told him, making sure to hold his gaze – hoping that what was being left unspoken would connect to him. She frowned slightly when something flared behind his eyes for a brief moment before he slammed it quickly shut and turned his gaze away. Mako tried her best not to grumble in frustration.

"She'll be fine guys," Genta inserted with a confident smile. "Besides, we're all here for her too."

Mako gave him a smile of intense gratitude and he grinned back at her before Takeru's arm found its way around her waist and pulled her close, never breaking their stride.

"Are you _sure_," Takeru insisted quietly. "A giant room full of screaming kids is a lot for anyone to handle, even on their best days."

Chiaki rolled his eyes, his hands shoved deep inside his pockets against the cold. "I'm with Genta on this one," he spoke up. "She'll be _fine_." He eyed both his fiancée and Takeru. "You two worry too much."

"With good reason," Ryunosuke muttered.

Chiaki scowled. "You're just as bad as they are."

Ryunosuke glared at his friend though it held no real heat.

"Seriously guys," Chiaki maintained. "Just _trust_ her on this one. I think she'd know best if she could handle it or not."

Mako felt her cheeks flush as everyone around her muttered their opinion.

"Well, ready or not, here we are!" Genta announced in an almost sing-song voice as they stopped in front of a gate covered in brightly colored signs announcing the name of the kindergarten and its up-coming events. Excited giggles and abundant, never-ceasing energy seemed to spill out of every orifice of the building in front of them.

Mako took in a deep breath and let it out steadily, bracing herself for what she knew needed to be done.

"Ready?"

Mako turned and looked at all her friends, an assuring smile plastered on her face even as her knees trembled minutely in slight anxiety. _Would_ she be able to handle this?

_Ready or not, here I come._ Mako's thoughts echoed Genta's previous words as she placed her hand on the gates' lock and pushed the doors open. As her friends trailed behind her a bell from somewhere inside the building rang loudly and children half their sizes spilled out from the doors, screaming enthusiastically as they relished in their free play.

Mako froze as students rushed around her, too intent on their destined play areas and friends to give more than a pacing glance at the strange adults blocking their way.

"Mako?"

Mako turned at the sound of her name being spoken to find a middle-aged woman with a delighted expression on her face.

"Yes?" She asked tentatively, suddenly vastly unsure if this was a good idea.

"I'm so happy to see you!" The woman wasted no time in hurrying right up to Mako's side. "Do you remember me? I'm Ms. Honda."

Mako squirmed slightly in her shoes. "I'm sorry," she began.

Ms. Honda shook her head. "Don't even worry about it," she soothed. "I heard about everything." Her eyes raked over Mako's head, obviously looking for any outward sign of the accident. "You look wonderful." Her smile was honest and open. "We've been keeping you in our thoughts and wishing for a speedy recovery for you since we first heard about the crash." She hugged Mako briefly, taking her by surprise. "We're just glad that you're okay."

"Thank you." Mako's voice was shy, overwhelmed by this woman's concern.

Ms. Honda braced Mako's shoulders as she searched her eyes. "Don't worry," she told her. "You'll do great – you're a natural at this." Her smile was all confidence. "We've already explained everything to the kids as best we could. They'll have questions, I'm sure, but kids are resilient. They'll be so excited to catch you up on _everything_ you missed, whether you can recall it all later or not. They always love to tell stories." She laughed. "Even if you can't tell if they're true or not! Those imaginations sometimes, I swear."

Mako felt herself smiling back in understanding, Ms. Honda's confidence raising her own.

The older woman caught sight of everyone standing just behind them. "Are you Mako's friends?"

Mako flushed. "Yes! Sorry," she felt Takeru's hand slip into hers. "This is Takeru, my husband." Mako blinked for a moment, the strangest sense of déjà vu stealing over her.

"Oh yes!" Ms. Honda smiled. "How could I forget that handsome face?"

Takeru inclined his head to her in greeting, his cheeks slightly flushed in embarrassment. "It's good to see you again."

Ms. Honda beamed back at him. "The pleasure is all mine." Her eyes shifted to the rest of the group just behind the couple. "Ah! Ms. Hanaori, it's good to see you too. You should stop by more often, the kids love when you come to visit Mako."

Kotoha's smile was bright. "I miss seeing them! It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"And who is that young man standing next to you?" Ms. Honda grinned good-naturedly. "You're boyfriend that I've heard so much about?"

"Fiancé," Kotoha amended with a flush. "This is Chiaki. Tani, Chiaki." Chiaki nodded his greeting to the woman before them.

"My, my, it certainly _has_ been a long time since you've visited, you'll have to catch me up one of these days. Congratulations on your engagement." She beamed before turning to the remaining two. "I don't believe I've seen you two fine young gentleman before." Ryunosuke and Genta each took turns introducing themselves while Mako watched in amazement as Ms. Honda's easy-going personality took everything in stride with an easy grace and warmth.

With introductions completed Ms. Honda turned back to Mako whose gaze had drifted to the children running rampant over the playground. "Everyone!" She called loudly to gain their attention. Children paused momentarily, awaiting their teacher's direction. "You remember Ms. Shiba? She was out sick for a while but has come to visit us today. Why don't you come over and say 'hi'?"

Mako stilled momentarily as excited faces turned towards hers and little feet came running at her. Within moments Mako was surrounded by chirping voices and little hands tugging on whatever part of her they could reach.

"Ms. Shiba! Ms. Shiba!"

Mako's heart pounded furiously in her chest, over-whelmed by the moment – both from the children surrounding her and from being called by a name she was just beginning to recognize as her own once more. She glanced back over her shoulder to see her friends watching her with wide eyes but amused smiles as Mako was dragged out onto the playground.

"Ms. Shiba, I heard you got hurt. Are you okay now?" One little girl with pigtail braids asked, a worried frown on her face.

Mako nodded. "I'm okay," she assured her. "I just bumped my head."

"I did that!" A little boy with close-cropped hair told her excitedly. "I was playing with my older brother, and we were running around, and he was chasing me, and I ran into the table because I wasn't looking!" He pointed to the Band-Aid on his forehead with pride. "See! My mommy put this on it and it made it all better. I cried because it hurt but it's okay now."

Mako laughed, startled. "It doesn't hurt anymore?"

"Nuh-uh," he told her. "But Mommy says I have to keep a Band-Aid on it so it doesn't get germs."

"Do you have a Band-Aid Ms. Shiba?" Another little boy asked.

"No," Mako told the group as they all began to search her for any signs of a bandage. "I don't need any more Band-Aids. The place I got hurt at doesn't need one anymore."

The children all gasped in delight and began to pepper her with more questions about what she had hurt and how, or otherwise trying to share their own stories of how they had hurt themselves with great relish and detail. Mako smiled, trying to turn to each child in turn to listen to their stories or answer their questions as best she could.

Takeru watched her anxiously from the sidelines, not realizing he was tense until a warm hand settled on his arm just above his elbow. He turned to see Ms. Honda smiling up at him with confidence.

"Relax," she told him. "Mako's doing just fine." She turned to watch the kids as some wandered off to continue their play, only to be replaced by other students who joined the little group around her. "Like I told Mako, she's a natural at this. No memory or amount of schooling is necessary to do what comes as easy to her as breathing."

Takeru smiled his thanks and she patted his arm comfortingly.

"I have to go inside and prepare the kids' snacks with the other teachers. You kids can stay out here and play with the students or watch from the sidelines – whichever you're more comfortable with." She nodded to the group before disappearing back inside the building.

Genta soon replaced Ms. Honda at Takeru's side, throwing his arm around his friend in good cheer. "Now _that's_ a thing of beauty," he said watching the wild buzz of activity on the playground.

When Takeru threw him a questioning look, Genta nodded in Mako's direction. "That smile of hers, haven't seen it in a while now."

Takeru looked to see Mako's head thrown back in laughter, absolute joy rolling off her in waves as she listened to the students' eager and elaborate tales. It hit Takeru like a sudden punch in the stomach to see her laughing so freely, so openly, to finally see those ever-present worry lines vanish so completely for the first time since she had first woken up in that hospital bed.

"It's a thing of beauty, isn't it?" Genta asked, watching his best friend with a wide grin. "Kids are amazing."

"She really is a natural, isn't she?" Ryunosuke asked awe evident in his voice as they all watched Mako's eyes light up in delight as she let herself be pulled across the playground to join in some game the kids had made up, finished with their questions for the moment.

Kotoha beamed. "She always was, from the moment I first met her. Mako's always been so good at taking care of others – especially kids."

"She'll make a great mother one day," Genta agreed. "It's too bad the two of you didn't have a kid or two already," he directed toward his friend.

Takeru stiffened at the comment, causing Genta to look over at him in concern.

"I don't know," Ryunosuke cautioned, folding his arms over his chest as he watched Mako. "It's been hard enough on her with just Takeru and us. Throwing a kid into the picture might have just made it worse." He frowned slightly at the thought. "With her amnesia, Mako might have felt worse knowing that she had a kid she couldn't remember anything about. The guilt would have only doubled her stress – not remembering her friends and husband has already added enough anxiety that she still can't remember things; she's probably still trying too hard when she should be relaxing. Having a child around who wants nothing more than her mother who can't even remember being pregnant with her?" He shook his head. "I think it's a good thing they don't have a kid yet."

"It's a shame though," Chiaki added. "She really would make a great mom."

Kotoha laced her arm around her fiancé's waist, resting her head on his shoulder as they watched Mako play, completely open and free for the first time in over a month. "Don't worry, she will one day." Her voice held every confidence.

Chiaki snorted. "Yeah, if Takeru finally ever lets her get close enough." He glanced over to see Takeru's tense shoulders and grinned. "He's way too tense for someone who should be enjoying his married life."

"Chiaki!" Kotoha scolded, her head shooting up as she frowned at him.

Takeru turned abruptly, visibly upset as he walked away.

Chiaki grinned, his face alight with teasing merriment until Ryunosuke smacked him upside the head.

"Was that really necessary?"

Chiaki rubbed at the back of his head with a glare. "_What? _It's not exactly a secret that the two of them haven't entirely gotten back together yet."

"Maybe there's a reason for that," Ryunosuke argued back with a glare of his own. "Perhaps he doesn't want to pressure his _wife_, one who still can't even _remember_ him before pressuring her into something she's not ready for."

Chiaki rolled his eyes. "She doesn't need _old_ memories of someone to still be in love with him."

Ryunosuke started, surprised by his friend's statement.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed?" Chiaki grinned. "She's totally head-over-heels for him still. Everyone _else_ can see it, right?"

Kotoha nodded. "When she first woke up she was confused about a lot of things, but they just seem to gravitate towards each other. She's probably still holding back a little herself but she definitely still loves him. I don't think that ever changed, memories or not."

Chiaki gave Ryunosuke a smug look. "What? You didn't notice?"

Ryunosuke sputtered in protest as Chiaki laughed. "I still don't think having a child right now is what they _need_," he insisted. "Right, Genta?" All three heads turned when they're normally enthusiastic friend remained silent. "What is it?"

Genta was watching Takeru's retreating back as he continued along to the furthest end of the grounds, not leaving them but getting as much space as possible from everyone else, his posture one of someone in the throes of pain and confusion. "I'm not sure," he muttered.

Brows rose all around at their friend's quiet voice.

"What's wrong with Takeru?" Mako's voice called out as she dragged herself over to her friends, her eyes full of concern but her lips still smiling as several students kept themselves latched onto her.

"We're not sure," Ryunosuke told her, his eyes darting between Takeru's back and Genta's frown. "We were just talking…and then he left. I think Chiaki went too far in his jokes."

Chiaki rolled his eyes. "Like he hasn't heard the same thing from _all_ of us for years."

Mako managed to shake off the students, encouraging them to go play with their friends for a moment before turning back to her own. "What were you talking about?"

Genta finally turned away from his friend to look at Mako. "We were talking about how natural you were around kids, that you'd make a great mother someday."

Mako flushed at the comment.

"We thought it was a shame that you didn't have kids already," Chiaki continued. "But Ryunosuke said it was probably a good idea you two hadn't yet, with the amnesia and all since you wouldn't even remember being pregnant with a kid."

Mako started, her eyes immediately darting to Takeru's lone figure across the playground.

Ryunosuke butted in. "Then Chiaki made a suggestive comment about –"

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Chiaki interrupted.

"He walked away, didn't he?" Ryunosuke argued back.

"It was a _joke!_ He knows I –"

"Mako?" Kotoha's voice was soft. "What is it?"

The two ceased their argument to notice that both Kotoha and Genta were studying Mako intensely. She had gone very quiet, her arms drawing around herself as if to ward off some chill – or to hold herself together.

When she answered, her voice was so quiet they almost missed it above the screams of delight still bouncing off every corner of the playground.

"I was pregnant."

The beat of silence that followed was tense, full of shock.

"_What!?_"

Mako hugged her arms closer around her. "The day of the accident… I was already pregnant. I – _we_ weren't entirely sure yet. Takeru says we had only just used a pregnancy test, but we weren't sure if it was a false positive – that's why we didn't say anything to all of you yet. We wanted to get a confirmation from the doctor first… I had an appointment the following week but then the accident…" She trailed off, gathering her thoughts, trying to remember to breathe even as it felt like her lungs were constricting.

"Mako I –"

"We didn't know –"

"The accident," she continued, lost in her own thoughts. "It caused a miscarriage. In the trauma…we lost the baby."

"Mako…" Kotoha's arms were gentle as she embraced her friend, bringing Mako back to the present.

"It's okay," she told them, attempting to shrug nonchalantly, even as a piercing ache began in her chest, stabbing with each breath she took. "I don't remember any of it; you can't mourn something you don't remember having in the first place."

As soon as the words left her mouth she knew they weren't true. Her eyes automatically found Takeru's form at the opposite end of the playground. She still couldn't entirely remember _him_ and yet a part of her had mourned the loss – the loss of companionship, of intimacy, of her other half. It hadn't been until she had begun to let him inside again that that loss had begun to diminish, but as they still kept some distance – some space between them with words left unsaid and a closeness left un-bridged the sharp pain was still present, smaller in size but existent all the same.

"It's him I worry about." Her eyes never left Takeru's lone form. "He lost his wife and child all on the same day."

"Mako," Ryunosuke began. "He didn't _lose_ you. You're just a little….lost right now."

Mako's smile was melancholy. "Isn't that the same thing?" Her vision of Takeru wavered as silent tears began to fill her eyes. "I'm still alive, yes, but I'm not who I was. I'm not who he wants back – who he _needs_ back."

"You're _exactly_ who he wants Mako," Genta's voice cut in harshly, surprising everyone at his tone. "_And_ who he needs. You might not have noticed, but we _have._ He wants _you_. He's healing a little bit more every day because of you.

"We tried, remember? Back in those early weeks? And it was barely working, if at all." His gaze flickered to Takeru before returning to the shocked expression on Mako's face. "I don't know how you did it, but he's starting to be himself, be Take-chan, again."

"So you've changed a little," Chiaki shrugged. "So what? So have we." He looked around at all of them standing there, alone in their own quiet bubble as the rest of the world carried on oblivious. "We all changed that day."

"It's okay if you're still a little broken; we're all here to help you put the pieces back together again." Ryunosuke smiled at her.

Kotoha's arms tightened around her friend as Mako's tears began to spill over. "We need you too Mako; you're our friend."

"If you hadn't pulled through that accident, hadn't survived?" Genta shook his head. "It wouldn't have just shattered Takeru. It would have broken us too." He tried to give her an assuring grin. "We don't care that you can't remember every intimate detail of our lives over the past few years. You're still here and you're still you. _That's_ what matters."

"I, for one, would _love_ to forget some of Genta's horrible jokes or all the times Ryunosuke has embarrassed us in public," Chiaki quipped.

Simultaneous squawks rang out from both accused parties, making a small smile appear on Mako's face. "Thank you," she whispered, wiping at her tears with the back of her sleeve. "I'm sorry, it's just – it's so _frustrating_ sometimes."

"We know," Kotoha assured her. "But we're here for you Mako – all of us are here for you whenever you need us."

Mako smiled and hugged her friend back tightly. "Thank you." She felt a heavy weight begin to dissipate from her shoulders, even as the pain in her chest continued to expand. She ignored the shortness of breath and smiled at everyone, trying to show how grateful she was for all their support.

"Mako, I'm sorry," Ryunosuke began. "I didn't know about the – that you were – I should never have made that comment to Takeru."

"Me too," Chiaki grimaced. "I wasn't even thinking."

Mako shook her head, blinking rapidly when everything spun out of distortion for a moment. "It's okay, _really_," she insisted. "You didn't know. I should have said something before. I'm sorry it upset everyone so much." She gently eased out of Kotoha's arms and stood up, making to leave their tiny group for a quick moment. "I'll go talk to Takeru and –"

Mako watched in a sort of detached fascination as the edges of her world turned dark and everything else blurred, her knees dropping out from under her without warning.

"_Mako!_" Kotoha's panicked voice echoed at the back of her hearing before several pairs of strong arms caught her, halting her decent to the ground.

"Oye! Takeru!" Genta's voice called out loudly, instantly grabbing his friend's attention.

Mako placed a shaky hand to her head as everything around her continued to blur, even as the darkness at the corners began to abate. She could hear the jumble of confusion and nervous voices from the students in the yard as they began to gather around. "I'm fine," she insisted, even as her hands reached out and held on to whomever's arms were holding her up, her breathing uneven. "I stood up too fast. It's just a head rush."

Takeru's arms were around her in an instant, pulling her close. Mako automatically held onto him for support.

"What happened?" His voice was tense, laced with panic.

"I just stood up too fast," Mako repeated. As her vision finally began to clear she caught sight of the children around them, their expressions ranging from curiosity to worry. "I'm okay," she told them. "It's okay."

Ms. Honda, having heard the commotion, was beside them in a flutter. "Mako? Are you okay?" She turned her attention to Takeru. "Should I call an ambulance?"

"No," Mako's grip on Takeru intensified, her eyes wide as she focused on the kindergarten instructor. "Please, really, I'm okay."

Ms. Honda didn't look entirely convinced as she called to the other teachers to corral the kids back inside, announcing that their snack was ready. The students, seeing that the adults had everything under control were almost instantly distracted by the thought of food though some still lingered behind, worried for their teacher.

Mako felt little arms hugging her tightly around her hips and she smiled shakily down at the students who peered up at her with anxious faces. "I'm fine," she insisted. "Just a little tired. Go on inside and have your snack."

A few of the students looked unconvinced.

"Are you going back to the hospital?" A girl with short dark hair asked.

"I'm just going home," she reassured her. "Right Takeru?" She looked at her husband imploringly and he sighed.

"Just home," he assured both Mako and the students. Mako smiled her gratitude.

"Are you coming back?" One of the boys asked.

"One day soon," Mako promised.

The remaining few, apparently satisfied for the moment, allowed their teachers to guide them back inside.

"Are you _sure_ I don't need to call someone?" Ms. Honda wouldn't be as easily convinced.

Mako nodded her head, stopping when it made the world jumble slightly. "_Really_," she pressed.

"I'll take her home," Takeru told the instructor.

Ms. Honda watched them all, looking as if she was going against her better judgment. "You call me when you get her home," she insisted. Takeru nodded before she finally traveled back inside herself, throwing anxious looks over her shoulder as she went.

When they were all alone Takeru immediately turned back to the matter at hand. "What happened?"

"I told them about the pregnancy," Mako admitted, her voice quiet as she clutched onto Takeru, her hands cold and her heart beating erratically, but her breathing was beginning to quiet down, making the world solid once more.

"_Mako_," he scolded. "The doctor told us not until you were _ready._ That –"

Mako's grip on his hold tightened as she pulled herself up to look her husband in the eye. "I _am_ ready," she insisted. "I'm tired of this. I need to –"

"You need to be relaxing," he countered. "Not reliving the trauma of –"

"How am I going to ever relax if I can't face something that's at the root of all the anxiety in the first place?"

"The doctor said that _might_ be the problem, not that it –"

"I have to try," Mako persisted, her eyes searching his. "_We_ have to try."

"Mako I –"

"I hate to interrupt what is apparently a most needed discussion," Genta's voice broke in. "But maybe it should take place somewhere where little faces aren't able to watch their teacher going through emotional release from outside their windows."

Mako and Takeru started, having become oblivious to all else in their conversation. They looked up to notice faces dotted here and there turned towards them from beyond the glass panes, just as Genta had mentioned.

"He's right," Takeru sighed. "This isn't the time or place for this right now." He looked at Mako, unsure about the way she was currently holding herself. He released his hold on her and kneeled down to the ground. "Here, get on," he insisted as he offered his back to her.

Mako looked at him in bewilderment. "What?"

"I don't think the sight of us having to support you outside the gates would leave the greatest impression on your students," Takeru explained. "And I don't trust that you can walk back on your own."

Mako assessed herself and realized he was right. Her balance hadn't been completely restored yet and she didn't want to alarm her students any more than she already had. "Okay," she agreed meekly before climbing onto his back, grasping his solid shoulders in support as he stood.

Mako could feel everyone's eyes on her back as Takeru made to walk out the gates. Her cheeks burned in embarrassment from having made a scene. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"There's nothing to apologize for," Kotoha immediately assured her. "_We're_ the ones who are sorry for bringing it all up in the first place."

Genta let out a laugh that didn't sound full of its usual mirth. "I think we all need to stop apologizing for things beyond our knowledge and control."

There was an awkward silence before Mako spoke again.

"Thank you," she started. "For coming today, for bringing me here." She hugged Takeru's shoulders tighter. "I'm really glad I came."

Genta nodded. "It was good to see you laughing so much again." He sighed and rested his arms behind his head as he trailed along beside the couple. "I missed that."

"I'm so–"

"Ah!" Genta cut her off mid-sentence in warning.

Mako started before smiling. "Right."

Genta grinned. "Well!" He exhaled deeply. "Seeing as the two of you have a lot to talk about, how about the rest of us leave you here and do something to keep ourselves occupied?"

"You don't have to," Mako started but Genta held up his hand to stop her.

"No," he agreed. "But we want to – give you some time alone," he elaborated.

Mako smiled as everyone began their good-byes.

"Call me when the two of you get home," Kotoha insisted, her brows knit in worry. She refused to budge until they agreed before she let Chiaki drag her off toward Ryunosuke and Genta as the group parted ways.

Mako waved her good-byes until the four had turned around and headed down a side-street then her arm dropped and she secured it around Takeru's shoulders once more. She let her cheek drop onto his shoulder so that she was embracing the warmth from his back, even as his muscles remained stressed.

"Hey Takeru?" She ventured hesitantly, her voice soft. "Are you mad?"

She felt as much as heard Takeru's deep sigh. "No," he assured her. "I'm not mad." He hoisted her higher up on his back.

"Then why are you so tense?"

Takeru was quiet for a minute as Mako waited with bated breath.

"I was scared," he answered, his voice quiet.

"Scared?" Mako asked, puzzled. "Why? I was just a little dizzy…"

"Not just today, but…back then too, when I first received that call that you were in an accident – that you were being rushed into surgery from trauma to the head… I felt my heart stop." His pace was even as he continued along the sidewalk but his grip on her tightened just the barest bit. Mako wasn't sure she would have even noticed had she not become so intensely aware of him as he continued to speak.

"Waiting for you to come out of surgery, pacing back and forth with nothing but empty reassurances from everyone to keep me steady, and then sitting next to your unconscious form for days as the heart monitor and your breathing were the only things even convincing me that you were _alive_." He shook his head. "I'd rather forget those days for as long as I live." He sighed quietly.

"And then you woke up and I couldn't have been more _relieved_ – all that worrying, all that stress, it was finally over. But the lost, fragile stare of bewilderment when you looked at me…. I felt like everything had only spiraled into a deeper nightmare. The room suddenly became too small; I felt like I couldn't _breathe_, I had to get out as soon as possible."

Mako embraced him tightly but kept silent.

"I needed a moment to think – to process what had just happened. I felt all the worry and anxiety catch up with me in a sudden rush and it was too much for me to handle in that moment, especially in front of you when it was the thing you needed the least at the time," he continued. "If you had seen me break down in front of you right then and there," he shook his head. "You would have done nothing but blame yourself for what had happened." He paused, gathering his thoughts.

"The accident wasn't your fault, losing our baby…it _wasn't your fault_," he insisted with an intensity that made the breath hitch in Mako's throat.

"But I _knew_, I still know, that had you seen me breakdown…that image would have stuck with you for the rest of our lives – you never would have been able to forget it, or forgive yourself for it either… That's why I left the room in the hospital and why I didn't come back at first.

"I needed to get it together," he insisted. "I needed to pull myself together for both of us. You needed that, you _deserved_ that."

Mako felt hot tears begin to roll down her cheeks as she buried her face in his shoulder.

"I already knew about our baby before I was with you in that room with the doctor," he admitted. "The surgeon who had worked on you told me when he had first finished your initial surgery. I didn't bring it up because I knew that even if you couldn't remember, you'd still feel guilty. You'd still blame yourself for something that hadn't been in your control. And I'm sorry," his voice caught and he cleared his throat before continuing. "That I couldn't bring it up – couldn't talk about it before now. I'm sorry I left you in that hospital room.

"I'm sorry that it took so long for me to come and get you from Kotoha &Chiaki's apartment – that I let it get so bad before I summoned up enough courage to face you again, to bring you home. I told myself that you'd be more comfortable with someone you recognized, that I'd come get you when you were ready, but even though I saw the signs at Ryunosuke's and heard about them from Kotoha and Chiaki both… I was too afraid of the loss – the lack of recognition in your eyes. The way your eyes used to light up when I'd walk into a room, the way we'd automatically reach for each other without a conscious thought. I was too afraid of what might be missing to see what was still there. That _you_ were still there.

"That just because a few memories were missing, that you wouldn't be you… My wife, my lover, my best friend… that you wouldn't be _you_. I was wrong… And I'm _so_ sorry Mako." He halted, his feet having finally guided them to their front steps. He waited with bated breath as Mako remained buried in his shoulder.

"Mako?" His voice hesitant, unsure. He tried to look over his shoulder at her but all he could see was her dark head of hair.

Mako drew in a shaky breath, taking in a few lungful's of the cold air before she turned and gently kissed him just below his temple, her arms embracing him all the more tightly. "I love you," she whispered.

Takeru stilled under her, his arms releasing her slowly, her feet finding the ground firmly as they stood before their front porch. "I know it sounds crazy – I still can't even see your face in my past memories but…I still love you." Her hand reached out tentatively, grasping his jacket's arm, willing him to turn around, heart pounding in her chest as she waited for him to respond.

With a gasp she was suddenly crushed in a tight hug before his lips found hers and Mako felt the same thrilling sensation of fire racing through her veins. Just before she could lose herself fully in the feeling Takeru abruptly broke off the kiss, their breath mingling together in the cool air. His eyes searched hers intently.

"Once more, please?" He asked.

Mako felt a smile bubble to her lips, tears springing afresh in her eyes. "I love you Takeru," she told him. "With all my heart."

Takeru pulled her close once more and kissed her – _hard_. Mako felt its intensity travel all the way down to her toes, glad that his arms were around her because she wasn't sure her knees would have held her up otherwise.

He released her lips but held her as close as was physically possible, his lips even with her ear. "I love you too Mako," he told her fiercely. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

Mako held him back just as strongly. "Me neither."

They stood just in front of their house for a long time, embracing each other as if the world were threatening to tear them physically apart at any moment, content to simply be in each other's arms.

Finally, good conscious wiggled its way back into Mako's thoughts. "We should call the kindergarten and Kotoha before they wonder if you truly had to take me back to the hospital."

Reluctantly Takeru released part of his hold on Mako, keeping one arm around her as they began to walk up their wooden steps.

A thought entered her head and she smiled. "Hey Takeru?"

"Hmm?"

She looked up at her husband, her head resting on his arm. "What do you think Genta would say if I told him he'd been replaced? As your best friend?"

Takeru paused half-way through the front door, his face troubled. "Probably best to just keep that bit of information between us," he told her.

Mako burst out in sudden laughter, its radiance echoing off the walls of their house, warming it in a way that no heater or fireplace had been able to in weeks.


	10. Losing Control

**Author's Notes: **I cannot believe how fast time slipped by. I profusely apologize for the delay in between updates, and can only hope that while the chapter is not as long as the last, will still satisfy to some degree. :) Enjoy! Constructive Criticism is always welcomed.

* * *

_**Forget Me Not**_

_Chapter __Nine: Losing Control_

Takeru looked up momentarily when a muffled groan entered the otherwise silent room. He watched with an amused smile as Mako rolled over in her sleep on the couch.

After they had placed their phone calls to assure everyone that everything was fine, Takeru had insisted that Mako lay down for a little while. Her breathing and heart rate had returned to normal, but her hands were still cold and her eyes looked weary. He wondered if he should have been a little more worried at her lack of resistance as he helped settle her onto the couch, tucking her in warmly with a soft blanket before making himself sparse so that she could rest in peace.

She had dropped off to sleep all too quickly – the emotional toll of the afternoon obviously having done its work, but she appeared to be dreaming soundly. Takeru had been unable to keep himself from checking in on her frequently, but her sleep had been largely peaceful until the last few minutes or so when she had begun to stir about slightly. He wondered what she was dreaming about.

"Takeru…"

He jumped at the sound of his name but Mako dreamt on, rolling over even more in her sleep so that she was now all but buried into the couch. He couldn't help but smile, even as he hoped that whatever she was dreaming about – if it _was_ about him – that it was something good rather than stressing.

She gave a sigh in her sleep and his eyes darted to her slumbering form once more, noting that the blankets had all but fallen to the floor from her twisting and turning, and that the same movements had twisted her shirt up and around her petite frame.

With a sigh of his own he moved to grab the blanket off the floor. When he bent down to pick it up she rolled over once more, this time his eyes found her exposed stomach and he was entranced for a moment – simply watching the way her body moved as she breathed in her sleep.

He felt a familiar ache fill him and he allowed himself to indulge in the memories of nights when he'd simply watch her sleep after their love making, and how many times he had told himself how _lucky_ he was to have found her…

Takeru sighed like that of a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders as he continued to watch his wife – the one who could no longer remember those nights and possibly never would before he shoved his desires aside roughly and reached out with one hand to try and fix her shirt back into place. He could have just covered her up with the blanket, but the temptation would have still been there, just waiting for the next time the blankets fell off. And he wasn't entirely sure that _next_ time he'd be able to simply free her shirt from its twists to pull it back _down_.

When his fingers gently ghosted over her exposed skin as he attempted to work her shirt free, Mako's stomach muscles contracted at the touch and a quiet, sharp inhale of breath came from between her lips. Takeru's eyes immediately looked to her face and almost fell to the floor in incredulity – she was reacting to him in her sleep! She wasn't even conscious – couldn't remember a damn thing about their past together and still her body reacted in exactly the same way as before. He felt his face flush as he felt his body react to hers and groaned to himself about his lack of control.

With a darting glance at her face to make sure she was still asleep, Takeru allowed himself to indulge a little further as he gently splayed his hand across her soft, warm stomach. When she responded automatically at his touch Takeru grit his teeth, locking his muscles down before he could do something he'd regret later – waking her up and discovering if her conscious self would respond in the same way.

Takeru was torn – part of him reminding him earnestly that all her recent kisses, touches, and attentions had indicated that she was more than ready to take things further, but another part of him stubbornly reminded him too that she was still healing – today's events had only proven that further.

With a tremendous inner force Takeru managed to wrench his hand away from where it still rested on her exposed skin.

He froze when a gentle hand caught his wrist and held it firmly.

Takeru felt his heart's rhythm double when his eyes found a pair of sleepy dark ones gazing back at him in question. Every nerve of his was tense, wary, as they stared at each other for several long moments. He waited, hardly daring to breathe as she slowly pulled his hand back and laid it once more against her stomach.

This time, Takeru found that he couldn't resist.

His lips sought hers and Mako was fully awake within an instant, kissing him back just as deeply, fueling the heat building between them.

Her hands threaded through his hair as his hands caressed her waist, pulling her closer to him, losing himself in her touch, biting back the groan of how _right_ it felt to hold her like this again.

Warm, butterfly-like fingers found their way under his shirt and Takeru felt a wave of intense desire shudder through him – suppressed for so long that now the sheer force of the intensity surprised him. It wasn't until his own hands traced up and along her back, sliding over the silky garment underneath her blouse, causing her to gasp into their kiss, that sense returned to Takeru's head with the weight of a ton of rocks.

He froze and she paused underneath him, her uncertainty plain. He kissed her gently, breaking off the kiss tenderly before dragging himself away from her, sequestering himself in their room as he all but flung himself on the bed and grit his teeth together as much to suppress the desire still surging full-force inside him as to call himself all kinds of an idiot for losing his control.

* * *

Mako lay on the couch in absolute confusion, her body giving off waves of heat in its heightened desire, her cheeks still aflame from the intensity of the moment, but her mind was riddled with bewilderment. She could recall every last minute with perfect clarity – waking up from one of her rather vivid dreams to find that this time the dream had become reality and she thrilled in it. She could still feel his warm hands as they caressed her face, her stomach, her arms, stoking the fire that burned so brightly inside her that it nearly blinded her in its sheer joy. Her lips recalled every blessed meeting, capturing his with her own in as much fervor as he gave her. And then he had simply…stopped.

For no discernible reason.

Mako dug the heels of her palms into her eyes to push back the tears that threatened from her complete and utter frustration. She sat up abruptly and felt the cool air move against her exposed skin and she wrestled with her shirt in a flurry of movements, releasing her feelings on the simple fabric until it settled back into place and she pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them close as she buried her face in them.

She bit back the tears and took several long, deep breaths, sorting through both her predominant and lesser emotions as she tried to puzzle out what the hell had just happened.

Everything had been so _perfect_. Had felt so _right_.

Why had he stopped? Why couldn't he _see_ –

Mako lifted her head, balancing her chin on her knees as a thought occurred to her. With a deep, steadying breath she rose from the couch, already knowing exactly where he would be and hurrying there as fast as her halting legs would allow. While she was eager to seek him out, the rejection had still stung, even if it was well-intended.

When she peeked in the door it was to see Takeru lying on his back on the bed, the heels of his palms pushed into his eyes in a near-mirror position of what hers had just been and she felt the worried voice in the back of her head hush at the sight.

On near-silent feet she crossed the distance between them, alerting him to her presence with a gentle hand on his knee.

Takeru had been so wrapped up in berating himself for his actions that he jumped when she touched him, flying up into a sitting position so fast that he nearly crashed into her.

"Mako I –"

She placed a quiet finger against his lips, silencing his apologies.

"I know what I'm doing," she told him, her voice quiet but steady.

He shook his head. "You're vulnerable right now. I don't want to take advantage of –"

"I _want_ this Takeru," she insisted with an intensity that startled him. "Every night I dream of this half-confusing mix of feelings – intense, passionate, caring feelings – that I both give and receive." Her fingers gently cupped his face as they watched each other. "I can't see your face just yet, but I _know_ it's you. I know it as well as I know my own name." Her fingers slid through his hair and around his head as she embraced him, pulling him to her in a warm hug. Her lips were even with his ear when she whispered, "_Shiba Mako._"

Takeru felt his heart skip a beat and then pound in double time as she pulled back enough to watch his face but kept her hands on his shoulders.

"Please, just let me in." Her voice was soft, a quiet plea.

Takeru's hands reached out, resting warmly on her hips as his eyes searched hers. "Are you sure?"

Mako nodded and he tugged her gently forward. Mako's knees hit the bed before she tentatively placed first one, and then the other up on the mattress on either side of him, using his shoulders as leverage before sitting delicately in his lap. His warm hands gripped a little tighter as he held her steady, sending a jolt like electricity racing across her skin with every shift of material against her suddenly hyper-aware body.

She let her fingers trail from his shoulders and up to his face, delighting in the shiver it sent through him that he couldn't suppress. She kissed him gently, tenderly and he responded, his hands caressing up her sides and she gasped at the touch, leaning forward, into his chest from the movement.

Takeru's hands grasped her wrists and pulled her hands down from his face, both their eyes snapping open at his second halt. Mako bit her lip, a wave of grief threatening to plummet into her stomach but she caught the barely controlled desire in his eyes, his voice tight in measure, asking one last time.

"Are you _sure_ you're ready for this Mako? Because if you're not… If there's even the slightest bit of hesitation or worry in your mind, you need to walk away right now. Because I won't be able to." His eyes gazed into hers so intensely that she felt the blush rising on her cheeks. "If this happens, if you're ready, I don't think I can hold back anymore."

His voice had gone low in warning and Mako felt a thrill of desire race through her. "Then don't hold back." She kissed him firmly.

Mako's gasp was swallowed by his lips as he dragged her to him with no more hesitation.

She could feel his struggle for control, to remain patient and gentle, but her own ministrations quickly worked down the firm grasp he was trying and failing to keep himself under. She grinned into their kiss, knowing the _exact_ moment his self-restraint snapped. She could feel it instantly and reveled in the realization that she could make him lose himself like this.

Passion burned brightly – hot, heavy and almost desperate in its hunger from long-suppressed absence – healing places inside themselves in ways they hadn't been able to grasp before. Places that couldn't be examined by medicine or science. Places that only the heart of true soul mates could reach and touch within the other.

Mako's conscious thoughts hadn't been able to pull up memories of how this dance was supposed to start or what steps she was supposed to lead or follow in turn, but somehow her body knew. Her body, her fire-fueled nerves, and her senses that were now full to the brim in awareness of everything around her remembered _for_ her and she exhilarated in the sensation – in the moments where she could turn her brain off on purpose for once and let herself _live_.

Let herself _breathe_ and truly experience the moment as she hadn't been able to for far too long.

And with each touch, each kiss, each wave of desire – Mako felt a confusing torrent of half-remembered moments flood her mind.

She pushed them aside, too unconcerned at the moment to examine them closely, and knowing with a firm certainty that they'd still be sitting there patiently, waiting for her when her mind, body, and soul finally felt content and strong enough to face them.

Because right now, she was too engrossed in the present to want to scrutinize the past.

* * *

Mako sighed contently as she threaded her fingers through Takeru's hair, his head on her stomach as they enjoyed the peace and quiet of the moment.

She couldn't stop the smile that suffused her face any more than she could halt the blush that spread over her cheeks as she vividly recalled the last few hours. She hadn't felt so completely _alive_ in what felt like a lifetime ago.

Takeru's arm reached up and pulled her free hand closer to him, kissing her palm gently and Mako felt the soft pressure of his lips travel from her hand to every nerve ending in her body. He turned suddenly, rolling so that he could see her face.

His heart lurched at the beautiful smile she wore – one that was all too familiar, one that no longer hurt to look at. He smiled softly back in delight, unconsciously recognizing that something inside him that had once been screaming was finally quiet – soothed and comforted by her presence.

"Hey Mako?" He began tentatively.

"Hmm," she answered, still basking in the afterglow of spent passion.

He hesitated, unsure if he was about to ruin the moment but his curiosity refusing to rest. "You mentioned before – before we – that is –"

Mako laughed and grinned inwardly at the feel of his head bobbing up and down on her stomach as she did so, delighted in this confusing mix of new and yet familiar feelings. "What is it?" she asked as he became tongue-tied.

He sighed, closing his eyes before letting it out in a rush. "You said that you were starting to remember things." He opened his eyes and studied her intensely as she stiffened in reflex. "What do you remember?"

Mako's hand stilled momentarily in his hair before she picked up the rhythm again, almost unconsciously this time. Her gaze became unfocused, her brows furrowed as she tried to pull up the flashing moments behind her eyes – moments that sometimes flitted by so fast she felt like they were teasing her, just within reach but always darting away too fast at the last moment for her to grasp and examine firmly.

"I remember laughing with Kotoha," she began softly. "I don't remember what it was about, only that we were laughing so hard we were collapsed against each other, our sides ached, tears ran, and we were struggling to breathe." Her eyes gentled at the thought before she met his gaze.

"I remember our first kiss," she confessed. "I still can't see your face in that memory, but when you first kissed me – _really_ kissed me – after the accident, I remembered the sensation. I remembered how I had felt then and how I was feeling at the time… I remembered your hands, their warmth, your lips…" She trailed off momentarily, enjoying the partial memory. "It was achingly familiar though I couldn't remember why."

"Why didn't you mention it before now?" Takeru asked, curiosity warring with surprise.

Her expression was sheepish. "I was scared," she admitted. "I knew what I was feeling, but it felt like an… echo. I didn't know if it was part of a memory, or just something I desperately wanted to be true."

She sighed quietly. "I'm getting better at it now; it's becoming easier. I don't try to force the memories –or avoid them. I let it happen, weak or strong, whenever they decide to appear. Most of the time it's without warning, but sometimes I can feel it coming, feel it building up deep inside me somewhere." Her hand fluttered over her chest in an almost subconscious gesture.

"I'm remembering more every day," she continued with a quiet smile. "Little things; flashes too brief to be whole memories – Genta's laughter, Chiaki's scowl, Ryunosuke's dramatic tendencies, Kotoha's giggles, your arms around me."

Takeru brought his arm up to trace lightly across her cheekbone and her eye fluttered shut for a moment, relishing the sensation.

She met his eyes again. "They're nothing dramatic – they're unconnected to the bigger pieces but they _feel_ important. Life is full of the big events and the every day," she insisted, as if trying to convince herself. "I still want to remember the kids I taught, meeting everyone, starting my life with you, but… I don't feel as lost anymore." Her voice became quieter, softer as she smiled gently down at Takeru. "There's an anchor I can hold onto."

She watched him watch her so intensely and her smile grew. "And the more time I spend around you the calmer I feel, safer, and the more they pop into my head at random times."

Takeru shifted in the bed, sheets sliding further down his waist as he rolled over fully onto his stomach and shifted until he was lying next to her, cradling her face between his hands.

Mako watched him quietly, uncertain for a moment before he smiled and kissed her gently.

"Then I guess I won't be letting you venture too far from my side for a long time to come," something almost wicked flashed in his eyes before his hands began to roam.

Mako's answering gasp was hushed by his mouth on hers as her hands, all too eager to explore themselves, were flitting over his back and shoulders, trying to find purchase.

As the couple's amorous activities climbed, they lost themselves in each other – blocking out anything else but the other in an invisible bubble of their own making.

So wrapped up in each other, in being allowed to lose themselves in the feelings they had been unable to express for so long, that they failed to hear the doorknob turn until it was too late.

"Takeru?" A voice called out urgently as the door swiftly opened. "What happened? Why can't I find –"

With a startled sound of surprise, the sound of a voice registered in Mako's ears and she yanked the sheets up to her nose, her face turning scarlet in an instant.

Takeru's head whipped around and his eyes widened at the sight of the person standing in the doorway.

"Apparently I was wrong," the person standing in the doorway sighed in exasperation. "I'm obviously not needed." Dark eyes didn't even bat an eyelash at catching the two in the beginnings of what had been churning up to be a fresh bout of passion.

"What – what are you doing here?" Takeru managed to ask, his cheeks flushing.

A scowl lit what had been an almost stoic face before. "Hello to you too, Takeru."

Mako, her face mostly hidden by her hair, leaned close to Takeru and tried to whisper in his ear. "Who is she?"

Either Mako hadn't been as quiet as she thought, or the intruder's ears were very sharp. The scowl on the person's lips shifted to almost a frown, eyes saddening and her posture almost looking defeated before she pulled herself up to her full, rather short, height and crossed her arms across her chest in a defensive manner. "I'm Takeru's mother," she stated boldly.

Mako felt her jaw drop open in mortified shock.


End file.
